About twenty years ago, a small book was published by Bruce Wilkinson entitled The Prayer of Jabez. It swept through the Christian community as a model of prayer and influenced numbers of believers in the way they prayed. However, I have heard little about that short prayer in the last fifteen years. I was reminded of Jabez and his prayer recently and wanted to mention it in my blog.

The text of 1 Chronicles 4 says, Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, “I gave birth to him in pain.” Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request. (1 Ch.4:9-10).

The remarkable things about this verse is that Jabez is mentioned in a genealogical list of hundreds of names, of which only a few are said to have done anything of note. Either his prayer prompted God to call him more honorable than his brothers or his more honorable character prompted the prayer.

My focus is actually more on the man than the prayer. Notice that his mother named him Jabez because she gave birth to him in pain. The most obvious understanding of her words is that he was a very difficult birth and that he had been a source of severe pain to her. As you know, Hebrew names often had prophetic undertones in terms of what a child would be like. Jacob meant deceiver and that is what he was until he encountered God. Jabez could have easily deduced that he would forever be a source of pain to his mother and those around him. Perhaps, his brothers often reminded him that he was “a real pain.” However, I sense that Jabez came to believe God determined his destiny and not his mother or his brothers.

Too many of us have had parents speak negative words and failure over us and have taken them on as our identity rather than taking what God has spoken over us as our identity and destiny. I have known many believers, myself included, who were criticized, demeaned, and declared worthless by a parent. They have all had difficulty overcoming the negative self-image that was ingrained in them by those words. We may have also looked at the negative outcomes of a parent’s life and believed that we would end up the same. I have also known several men whose fathers died in their fifties of heart complications and these sons grew up believing that they too would die young. Fortunately, by faith, they came to believe that God established their destiny and their date of departure, not their parents. Each of these men have long outlived their fathers age. Others have seen their parents divorce, do drugs, or spend time in prison and have believed that their destiny was to follow in their parent’s footsteps. God says different.

It is possible that the prayer of Jabez was more honorable or noble (some versions) than his brothers because it reflected his faith that God determined his destiny rather than his mother or any man. His prayer of faith was that God would bless him so he could be a blessing to others rather than a source of pain. He also asked for more territory to extend his influence for good, Our true real estate in this life is our influence for the kingdom of God. The more we bless others, the more influence we gain. He asked God to direct his steps and to keep him from the pain his mother had prophesied. God gladly answered his prayer.

Our prayer should be for God’s identity to settle into our hearts and for our lives to fulfill the purposes he has established for us. Psalm 139 declares that everyday ordained for us was written in his book before one of them came to pass. It is the nature of a good father to desire blessing, fruitfulness, and health for his children. Whatever destiny God has written in his book for us would be a rich life in which we are blessed so that we can be a blessing to others. By faith we need to claim that life rather than some limited, broken, life of disappointment.

Our prayers reflect our expectations for God and for ourselves. Let’s pray honorable prayers that honor God as a good father who wants the best for his children and for his children to live exceptional lives worthy of a child of God full of influence and blessings for those we touch! That is a prayer God is willing to answer!