The Biblical Concept of Forgiveness

In Part 1 of this series, I mentioned that many followers of Jesus walk in unforgiveness towards those who wronged them in some way in their past.  They either are unaware of the command to forgive, misunderstand the nature of biblical forgiveness, or feel that their situation is the exception.  This is such a critical matter that I wanted to spend a few weeks clarifying this essential part of the believer’s life. 

As we consider what Jesus and the writers of the New Testament have to say about forgiveness, we learn that it is both an event and a process.  Many of the stories Jesus told to demonstrate the principle of forgiveness take the form of financial debts being owed and those debts being cancelled.  As an event, forgiveness is simply a decision of the will to forgive a debt.  It is a decision to no longer require payment for an actual wrong done to us as well as a decision to release the judgment of those who have wronged us to God.

In Matthew 18, Jesus paints a picture of the very nature of forgiveness as seen from the perspective of heaven. 

Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents‍ ‍was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. At this the servant fell on his knees before him. “Be patient with me,” he begged, “and I will pay back everything.” The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. ‍ He grabbed him and began to choke him. “Pay back what you owe me!” he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, “Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.”   But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 

When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. Then the master called the servant in. “You wicked servant,” he said, “I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.  (Matt. 18:21-35)

The core idea of forgiveness is to release a debt.  It is not an act that minimizes the debt, denies the debt, or excuses the one who owes the debt.  It recognizes that a debt beyond measure has been cancelled on our behalf, and so we must be willing to do the same for others…even when they have not repented or asked for our forgiveness.   

Forgiveness is not primarily a decision of the emotions.  Initially, we will likely still carry some measure of anger, feelings of betrayal and victimization. In spite of our feelings, forgiveness is a decision of the will to no longer act in ways that make the person who hurt you pay for what he or she did. We cannot command our emotions, but we can choose to act in certain ways or refrain from acting in certain ways by a decision of the will.  We can choose how we think about another person or what we say about another person, even if our emotions are not always aligned with those actions and thoughts.

Until we forgive, we often attempt to make these individuals “pay” through our hurtful behaviors, which may include …

1.   Angry outbursts directed at the hurtful person.

2.   Withdrawal of loving behaviors or interaction from the one we believe wronged us.

3.   Gossip or slander that attempts to damage the reputation and relationships of the “hurtful” person with family members, co-workers, church members, etc.

4.   Hurtful actions motivated by a desire for revenge in an attempt to “even the score.”

5.  Constantly bringing up a past wrong in an accusing way months and years after it happened.

6.  Praying against the person or speaking curses over him/her.

7.   Etc.

Again, the first step, which is an event, is to make a decision to release the debt owed to you.  That decision means you will no longer act in ways designed to make the other person pay for what he or she has done.  You do this as a decision and as a declaration that the debt is cancelled in the name of Jesus.  Doing so acknowledges your motivation for forgiving the debt and affirms what Jesus has done for you.  Along with this, you commit to no longer act in hurtful ways towards those who have hurt you.  

Paul spoke about this in his letter to the Romans.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.   Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.   On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.  Romans 12: 17-21

Notice that this section of scripture instructs us to act in loving or caring ways even towards “our enemies,” while assuring us that God will still deal with evil.  We simply turn judgment over to Him rather than acting as judges ourselves.  As we release judgment to God, we also release ourselves from the bitterness and anger we must keep alive as we try to punish those who wounded us.  

We may or may not overcome evil in the other person by our goodness or kindness, but we overcome the effects of evil in our own hearts by our forgiveness. As we forgive, we release the poison of our hurt and anger so that bitterness, self-pity, and vengeance do not take root in our own hearts.  That anger and bitterness will eventually spill over into our other relationships – even those that are important to us.

Many years ago, I counseled a woman who had been severely abused and terrorized by her ex-husband.  She had married again. She acknowledged that her second husband was a wonderful man, but she would fly into rages and cut him deeply with her words for seemingly no reason at all. The marriage was on the brink of collapse when she came to see me.  It didn’t take long to recognize that her problem was that she had not forgiven her first husband and was releasing her anger and bitterness toward him on her second husband on a daily basis. She quickly recognized what was happening, but couldn’t seem to help herself because she would not forgive her abusive husband.  Not only did she not want to forgive him, but declared in no uncertain terms, “I hope he burns in hell for what he did to me!”   There is a better ending that I swill tell you about later.  

There is always a blessing found in our obedience to God, even if it seems counterintuitive. Here is the blessing found in forgiving those who have wounded us.  Forgiveness releases us from our need to make the offending person pay their debt and allows us to lay aside the pain that we continue to keep alive as we constantly remember the hurt.  Until we forgive, we are tied to our past and tied to those who wounded us.  

In many ways, we continue to allow them to control us as our anger, bitterness, and desire for revenge tie us to them…even after their death.  We become prisoners of our own unforgiveness.  God wants to release us from that control by taking healing the hurt and presiding over the judgment of that wrong, so it no longer is a significant thread in our lives.  In many cases, forgiveness is for our benefit much more than for theirs.  Of course, it may open the door for reconciliation of a relationship, but even if it doesn’t, we can step into our future untethered to the past because we allow God to preside over the matter rather than us.  The first stage of forgiveness then is an event in which we choose to release the debt…not because our betrayers deserve it, but because the one who died for us, deserves it. 

Discussion / Reflection:  

Who are you still tied to in your past because you have not released the judgment and the matter to God?

How has your continuing bitterness and anger affected your happiness and important relationships through the years?

How would your life be better, if you never again had to think about the event or the person who wounded you?

How do you think your unforgiveness toward someone or even some organization has opened the door in your life for Satan to afflict and torment you?

How will you shut that door?

Next Week: The Process of Forgiveness

As Christians, I think that we often believe that other followers of Jesus understand the necessity to forgive those who have betrayed them and so they have actually done so.  However, every time we do a Freedom Weekend, I discover that many, many Christians have not forgiven those who have wronged them…even though God says he will not forgive our sins unless we forgive those who have wronged us.  Unforgiveness not only lets the devil in, but restricts the blessings and answered prayers that God desires to give us.

Any unforgiveness we carry, is always an open door for the enemy to disrupt our lives.  Because of that, I feel compelled to do a short series on forgiveness and the freedom we can find personally by obeying the Lord is this essential matter.  I want you to treat this as a kind of personal study and inventory of your own life regarding forgiveness.  You might even do a mini-study with a small group and explore some of the Discussion/Reflection questions about forgiveness with others. 

I have also discovered through the years that many believers are confused about biblical forgiveness. Sometimes we think we have forgiven someone when we haven’t and, at other times, we think we haven’t forgiven someone when, perhaps, we have.  Knowing the biblical definition of forgiveness and understanding why we sometimes choose not to forgive can be helpful in being obedient in this matter.  Practical steps in knowing how to move from bitterness to forgiveness can also be very helpful.  We will discuss all of this in the next few weeks on this blog. 

Freedom Through Forgiveness

The New Testament has a great deal to say about forgiveness.  The two following texts are a sample and should be very sobering to any of us who have been careless with forgiveness.

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.  Matthew 6:14-15

Then the master called the servant in. “You wicked servant,” he said, “I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” In anger, his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart. Matthew 18:32-35

Discussion / Reflection:  Spend some time responding personally to these questions or discussing them with a friend(s). 

• How would you define forgiveness?   
• Do you think it is fair for God to insist that you forgive people who have hurt you or keep hurting you? Why or why not?
• For you personally, why is it sometimes hard to forgive?
• Is there ever a time to withhold forgiveness?
• Does forgiving a person require that you let that person back in to your life?

God’s Way to Freedom

Christ doesn’t command us to do something that he himself has not done.  He commanded forgiveness as he taught the crowds in Palestine, but then gave us the ultimate example when he was hanging on a cross – having been unjustly accused, brutalized, and sentenced to death.

When they came to the place called the Skull, there they crucified him, along with the criminals-one on his right, the other on his left.  Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”  Luke 23:33-34

Notice that Jesus did not forgive Israel because the leaders had come to him asking for his forgiveness.  The leaders of the Jews felt totally justified in what they had done.  Yet Jesus forgave them and prayed for the Father to do the same.  That is the heart of God and so he calls on us to forgive others…not because they deserve it, but because He has done that for us.  The following scriptures reflect the biblical theme of forgiving those who have hurt us.

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. Matthew 6:12 

 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15 

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me?  Up to seven times?”  Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.   Matthew 18:21-22 

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.   Mark 11:25 

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.   Colossians  3:13-14 

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.   Luke 6:37 

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Matthew 7:1-2

Discussion / Reflection:  What is your emotional response to those commands?

For many of us who have been wounded and betrayed by others, we feel ourselves pushing back against God in this matter.  Something feels wrong about releasing people from the wrongs they have done.  When we think about forgiving, we feel vulnerable. We feel as if God is minimizing our pain or invalidating our suffering.  We feel as if justice has been ignored.  We are afraid that forgiveness will open the door to them hurting us again. But, a look at the biblical concept of forgiveness will help us see the wisdom and blessing that come to us through releasing the debt that these people owe us.

Next Week:  The Biblical Concept of Forgiveness

At my church in Midland/Odessa, we offer an eight-week class called Free Indeed and an all-day Saturday activation designed to heal wounds from the past and break bondage from the enemy.  The second week of the class is designed to teach us how to hear God.  We put that class upfront because much of our healing and much of our freedom depends on hearing God speak to us.

As you know, all things in the kingdom come to us by grace, but that grace is often activated by an expression of faith.  How often did Jesus say, “according to your faith”?  One of the verses that nearly every Christian knows is, “So then, faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God” (Rom.10:17).  Those who discipled me as a young Christian believed that verse meant that faith comes through Bible study.  Of course, Bible study is essential, but that would mean that faith comes from reading the word rather than hearing the word of God. 

Generally speaking, there are two Greek words that are translated “word’ in reference to a communication from God.  The first is logos.  It typically refers to the written word of God or the revealed word of God for all men – the scriptures. The second Greek word is rhema. Rhema is a fresh word of God for the moment for an individual or a church.  That expression or communication by God would be what we typically call a prophetic word for a person or a church or a word of knowledge in which the individual receives a revelation specific for himself or a situation he or she is dealing with. 

Interestingly, the Greek word in Romans 10:17, which declares that faith comes by hearing the word, is the word rhema.  Certainly, faith can and does come through reading the written word, since the word (logos) of God is active and living (Hebrews 4:12). But, in his letter to the Romans, Paul emphasizes the personal experience of hearing God speak to you as a major faith builder.

I still remember the first “prophetic word” ever spoken over me by a man I had never met and who knew nothing about me.  He referenced some experiences I had walked through in another church a year or two earlier.  He then spoke to some questions and personal conversations that my wife and I had talked about on the way to church that morning, and declared some of the things God was getting ready to do in my life.  The experience of hearing this man “read my mail” was amazing, but the greater impact on me was the confirmation that God truly was personally involved in my life and had actual feelings about the things that had happened to me.  My faith grew in that moment more than in years of Bible study and sermons. In many ways, logos teaches us about God, but rhema allows us to experience him.

Many of us have a general belief in the promises of God and a general belief that God loves us because he loves everyone.  Fewer of us actually believe that he is intimately involved in our lives and that his promises are for us personally, not just for the church as a whole.  When we begin to hear God, our view of him and ourselves changes.  Our faith becomes personal rather than general.

What we need to know is that God is speaking to us all the time in many different ways.  His goal is to develop an intimate relationship with us, so he reveals himself to us as a person who wants to build a friendship with us and even as a suitor wanting us to fall in love with him.  

When hearing God, we can make two mistakes.  The first is believing that God no longer speaks to his people except through the written word – which is what many churches teach.  If we believe that, then we will simply ignore his voice when we hear it or tune it out altogether. The second mistake is believing that God only speaks to us in one way, when he is actually revealing himself to us in many ways. 

Sometimes we hear the still small voice in our head and recognize it as something from the Father that the Holy Spirit is uploading spirit, into our conscious mind.  Occasionally, people still get to hear his audible voice.  At times, by his Spirit, he highlights a passage of scripture that takes hold if us and reveals a truth that changes us.  Sometimes he speaks to us through his people – the preacher, a group leader, a friend, an author,  a stranger, etc.  At other times, he reveals himself through his creation like an artist that has revealed his heart and his dreams in a painting.  He even reveals himself in the midst of terrible tragedy with a grace for the moment and a peace that passes understanding while we are sitting in a cold, sterile waiting room.  In a time of need, when we can feel as if God has abandoned us, he reveals his love through his people in every card, phone call, bouquet, and casserole that comes to our door in that time of need.  

When we recognize these rhema moments, it builds our faith … not just that God exists, but that he exists for us.  We discover, over and over, that he loves us personally and has a personal destiny in mind for each of just as any loving father would.  The average believer misses most of these communiques from heaven. Even those who believe God still speaks to us, may wonder why God hasn’t spoken to us lately because we tune into only one expression of himself to us.

We need to learn to recognize his voice and the revelation of himself to us on a daily basis – even an hourly basis.  We need to know that he is speaking, even when we don’t hear the small still voice or the thunder from heaven.  He shows himself to us in a sunrise, in a parking place when we need it, in a job that opened up for us, in a call from a friend, a dream at night, or another answered prayer.  These, and more, are all ways he is speaking to us. Listen for him, look for him, sense his quiet presence…and faith will grow.

Agreement is a significant issue in the realm of spiritual warfare.  There is an axiom that states, “Whatever or whomever you agree with, you empower.”  When Adam and Eve agreed with Satan in the Garden of Eden, their initial agreement gave him more influence and more power in their lives.  Their initial agreement ultimately led to being banished from the presence of God and turning over their dominion to Satan himself.

Satan’s initial premise was that God was not a generous god and did not have their best interest at heart.  Satan suggested that Elohim was withholding good things from them.  Satan posed the question, “Did God really say you must not eat from any tree in the Garden?” He knew better, but planted a seed suggesting that God might be withholding good things from them.  Once Eve joined the conversation, she began to lean into his premise.  After that, he gathered more agreement until they both ate from the tree and reaped the consequences of their agreement. 

Interestingly, when Eve responded to Satan, she altered God’s command.  She said, “God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die” (Gen. 3:3).  Satan then denied the truth of God’s word by declaring that they would not actually die, but would become as wise as God…the very thing God was withholding from them.

In his commands, God did not say they could not touch the fruit without the penalty of death. Not touching it seems like a wise precaution, but the fact is that Eve altered God’s command. She added to what he had said.  We must avoid altering his word, whether we are making things stricter than he intended or more lenient.  God is intentional in his wording, and we should be careful how we handle it.

To alter God’s word often brings us into agreement with Satan and, thus, gives him more power and influence in our lives. Sometimes we alter God’s word by misquoting what he said and sometimes we distort it by choosing a verse or two on a topic while avoiding the whole counsel of God on the subject. 

We live in a day when abundant liberties have been taken with the word of God.  There seems to be a prevalent view that God’s word should evolve with the culture.  In practical terms, it means that if culture thinks something is right or wrong, then any contradictory view in scripture can be discarded or explained away as being culturally specific (it was only wrong then because the people were not as informed as we are now) or unscientific (God really doesn’t know how genetics work and is certainly not as enlightened as our culture is today). 

One of Satan’s primary weapons is as old as the Garden.  He speaks a little truth while distorting the Word and that distortion leads people away from the absolute truth of God’s will bit by time.  After traveling down that road a few miles, we feel that we are free to determine which part of God’s word we want to obey and which part we want to discard. As we do so – whether individuals, churches, or a nation – we come into agreement with Satan and open the doors for his presence and his demons to operate within. 

God’s word is as eternal and unchanging as God himself.  We cannot disregard the Word or change it to fit current cultural values or politically correct positions without consequence.  

King Saul lost his reign because of his looseness with the commands of God. The prophet Samuel declared. “Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams. For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, he has rejected you as king” (1 Sam. 15:22-23).

If you read the story, Saul had obeyed part of what God commanded and disregarded the rest for reasons he thought were sufficient.  Interestingly, as Samuel challenged him on his disobedience, Saul kept insisting that he had done everything God had commanded.  Through a series of other indiscretions, Saul had opened himself up to deception by the enemy as he believed he was fully obeying God’s will, when any objective observer knew he had made serious departures from the commands of God.  Eventually, he lost his kingdom, the lives of his sons, and his own life because he distorted the Word of God while claiming to be faithful to it.  

We live in a day when we must examine what others are claiming to be the Word of God and be careful that we are not coming into agreement with Satan by coming in to agreement with culture and politics. Many are using bits and pieces of the Word to validate their own agendas rather than submitting their hearts and ways to God.

None of us have everything figured out, but the difference is in a heart that wants to obey the word of God at every turn and the heart that feels free to pick and choose the parts he or she wants to adhere to while ignoring the rest. Those who pick and choose will come into agreement with the enemy and find the power of Satan growing in their lives. Those who stay in agreement with God and his word will find the power and influence of the Holy Spirit growing in their lives.