Not too long ago, I received an email from a mother that speaks to a lot of issues many parents are facing in our culture.  I thought I would share a response that might be helpful to those reading this blog or someone they know. She wrote…

Pastor Tom….My son is a young teenager, and he’s dealing with a lot of things. He’s been depressed, had more than one suicide attempts, he’s doing drugs, he’s very angry. He’s seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist and they’re throwing around some diagnoses that don’t seem to be affective or on target. I believe the issue is 100% spiritual warfare, demonic oppression… all that stuff. He was telling me that at one point not too long ago he had made a decision to actually follow Satan. I know that that can bring a lot of things spiritually into his life. He isn’t able to say, Jesus is Lord and Savior even though in the past, he’s told me that was the case. He says when he reads the Bible, he just gets angry and it makes him want to do things like cutting and doing self-destructive things. I definitely believe that mental illness is real, but I also believe that there’s a spiritual component here. My question is because, he’s not really willing to participate in any kind of like deliverance, how do I do that for my kid?

First, let me say that we have had many parents over the years express concerns that their children were being demonized and wondered what to so since the children were too young to make their own declarations or were unwilling to do so.  Demonization of children is not new.  

Mark tells us, “A man in the crowd answered, “Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not.” “O unbelieving generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me.” So, they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth. Jesus asked the boy’s father, “How long has he been like this?” From childhood,” he answered. “It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us” (Mark 9:17-23). 

Demons can enter children several ways.  They may come in through bloodlines from ancestors who have lived and died in sin without repentance.  This seems to be especially true when those ancestors were involved in sexual immorality, witchcraft and false worship, violence and severe trauma.  We see depression, anger, self-destructive behaviors including suicide attempts, etc. that often have come down through bloodlines. “Visiting the iniquities of the fathers upon the children down to the third and fourth generations” (Exodus 20:5).

They can also enter older children and especially teens when they have participated in witchcraft…psychic readings, video games with elements of witchcraft, pornography, seances at sleepovers, Ouija boards, etc. or when they have been exposed to their own trauma through abuse, the death of a parent or sibling, violence, or even scary movies. It is not uncommon that friends have introduced them to these things.

If you suspect or know that your child is under the influence of demons, here are a few responses to that situation.

As the parent, you have spiritual authority over your children.  Therefore, you can command demons to leave without your child having to make the declarations for themselves.  You can do so as they sleep which is best for small children. Authority does not have to be loud.  It simply needs to be firm and spoken by someone who knows they have authority.

You can do so with your older children and teens if they are open to it. You can do so in your teens room when they are not present, if that is necessary.  Be sure to anoint their rooms with oil and command any spirits in the room to leave and never return. 

Take an inventory of your child’s room and iphone or ipad.  Are there any objects, games, videos, magazines, music, posters, websites, etc., that glorify violence, witchcraft, new age activities, eastern religions, and so forth? These invite demonic spirits into your child’s space and, perhaps, into your child.  Take note of gifts that may have come from friends or family members who dabble in the occult or new age activities.  Sometimes demons come attached to objects that have been prayed over or blessed by those who serve false gods.  If you find them, you may need to remove them from the house.

If you are aware of generational sin that may have come through you to your child, you must acknowledge the sins of your ancestors, repent of the sin on behalf of your bloodline, and renounce them before commanding any spirits to leave. Always tell them to leave immediately and never return. 

If a child or teen has entered into some promise or covenant with Satan or some spirit other than the Holy Spirit, that covenant needs to be nullified. That covenant will give the enemy entrance to your child as long as it is allowed. However, in the same way that a twelve-year-old cannot legally enter into a contract without your involvement, that child cannot enter into a covenant with Satan without your involvement.  Therefore, by your authority as a parent and as a follower of Jesus, you can renounce the covenant and nullify it by the authority of Jesus and your authority as a parent.

Here is a sample declaration of how you might break any covenants made by your child with the enemy either because they were upset, angry or thought they were simply playing games. 

On behalf of my child, over whom God has given me spiritual authority, and in the name of Jesus, I declare that Elohim – the Father, Son and Holy Spirit – is the only true and living God and I totally surrender myself and my child to his Lordship. I renounce Satan and all the works of Satan.  I renounce all the spiritual forces of wickedness that rebel against God and the evil powers of this world that corrupt and destroy those God has created. I repent of and renounce all sinful desires that draw me and my child away from God. In the name of Jesus, I repent of and renounce any promises, covenants, agreements, dedications, or allegiances with Satan that were established by my child or spoken over my child by someone else. 

I plead the blood of Jesus over my bloodline and my child for forgiveness and repent of and renounce any agreements with Satan on his/her behalf. In the name of Jesus and by his authority, I declare all promises, covenants, agreements, dedications, and allegiances nullified and made void by the all-encompassing authority of Jesus Christ. By the authority of Christ and the sword of the Spirit, I sever myself and my child from all such covenants, agreements, or dedications and declare he/she is set free to serve Jesus alone.

In the name of Jesus, I also break and remove any and every seal of Satan that may have been established over him and declare that he is set free from these seals by the blood of Christ and the sword of the Spirit.  Amen.

You will need to make this declaration before you command any spirits of witchcraft to leave.  You may have to do all this several times over a period of days to break these demonic strongholds.   

Ultimately, our children need to know the dangers of crossing into enemy territory in the spiritual realm, but need to know more the power and authority that Jesus wields on behalf of his people. Children rarely can measure the consequences of their actions and will do and say and participate in things that seem fun or risky simply for the excitement or novelty.  That is part of immaturity, but we still need to teach and model spiritual awareness and the power and love of Jesus Christ in our lives.  From their earliest years they simply need to know…Jesus good.  Satan bad. 

In Matthew 4:1, we find Jesus being led into the wilderness immediately after being baptized by John and immediately after the Holy Spirit had descended on him. Mark tells us he was immediately sent into the wilderness for forty days to be tempted by Satan (Mk 1:12).  The word translated sent, more often means driven or forcibly led. What we see is Jesus being strongly compelled by the Spirit to go into the wilderness to face Satan during the entire forty days.  The final temptations are recorded by Matthew, but the language suggests that Satan was whispering all along the way.  

In the same way that Jesus told the disciples to wait in Jerusalem until they had received power from the Holy Spirit before they began to preach the gospel, it is apparent that Jesus could not have withstood the temptations of the devil without the Holy Spirit.  Neither can we.  The more we allow the Holy Spirit to manifest himself in us, the more we can withstand temptation.  I’m not speaking so much here about spiritual gifts but spiritual maturity. In the past few years, we have seen numerous Christian leaders fall to temptation. They were abounding in spiritual gifts, or at least in natural talent, but had a shortfall in character.  Paul tells us to earnestly desire spiritual gifts, but as we do, we must desire even more, the character of Christ to be formed in us.  The temptations Jesus faced in the wilderness were preparing him to carry the weight of his ministry and his ultimate sacrifice.

Most of us want to achieve our goals in life without paying a great price for it.  That is very human.  In Matthew 4, Satan saved that temptation for his finale.  Matthew tells us, “Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. And he said to him, “All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.” Then Jesus said to him, “Be gone, Satan! For it is written, “‘You shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve.’ ” Then the devil left him, and behold, angels came and were ministering to him” (Mt. 4:7-11).

Ultimately, Jesus will rule over all the nations of the world.  Satan was offering him that position without the cross – worldwide rule without the suffering.  The writer of Hebrews tells us that Jesus was tempted in every way that we are – yet without sinning (Heb. 4:5).  This final temptation must have appealed greatly to his flesh.  Thankfully for all of us, he resisted.  In part, he was able to do so because he had already said no to temptation countless times in his forty days in the wilderness.  Each time he said “No,” he was strengthened in his spirit.

Here is the thing.  If we are given a crown without a cross, we will eventually fail.  That crown might be leading a large church, leading a nationally known ministry, gaining the coveted promotion at work, the marriage you have desired for years, recognition in the sports or academic world, winning the lottery, etc.  Satan knows our vulnerabilities and he will exploit them whenever possible.  

The ultimate example of this principle is Saul and David.  Saul was anointed one day and became King the next.  He was thrust into a position of power and significance he was not ready to carry.  His rule was marked by insecurity, manipulation, the fear of man, and even attempted murder.  David was anointed one day but was not given the crown for years as he ran from Saul, led men in the wilderness, learned to desperately depend on God, and even learned to control his temper.  Saul was given power and success without his heart being tried and his character developed.  His reign ended in catastrophe.  David assumed the crown after years of his heart being tested and is remembered as Israel’s greatest king…even with a serious moral failure in his life.  Men with character can recover even from failures, while those without character will be crushed.  Saul became an insecure and conniving man.  David became a humble man.

The lesson is not to despise the waiting, but trust that God is developing you to steward the fulfillment of your dreams well…if they are godly dreams.   The warning signs of men being given positions and recognition beyond their character is all around us…sports stars, politicians, celebrities, lottery winners, preachers, etc. whose lives are marked with addiction, a string of broken marriages, fraud, insider trading, moral failures, etc.  

When we have a dream or desire that would carry with it notoriety, huge financial success, power, influence, and so forth, we must first ask the Lord if that dream or desire is from him.  It may be a dream planted by the enemy for your destruction.  If you genuinely sense it is from God, next check your motives for pursuing the dream.  Is it obedience, bringing glory to God, extending the kingdom, or for personal significance?  Be honest with yourself! If it is about your personal significance, ask the Lord to change your heart.  If it is all about you, he cannot give you that desire since he loves you.  It would be to your detriment.  If the dream keeps illuding you, be open to the possibility that God is preparing you to fulfill that desire through the waiting.  Remember, his time table rarely matches ours.  If you can accept the waiting and still work with integrity, faithfulness, and thanksgiving, then you will be ready for the desire or the dream to given to you.  God will only give us more when we have been faithful with what we already have (Mt. 25:21).

Too many times in the waiting, we begin to resent the people around us, manipulate situations to get what we want, become critical of those who have what we want or who we think are standing in our way. We begin to doubt God’s care for us and maybe become angry with God because he hasn’t given us what we wanted. These feelings are natural, but need to be reined in and adjusted to be in alignment with God’s word and his promises for you. That constant testing and realignment is what develops our spiritual maturity and prepares us to steward well what we believe God wants for us. 

Paul, as a Pharisee, was once driven by selfish ambition and a desire for recognition. But after meeting Jesus, his heart was changed.  He said, “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned, in whatever situation I am, to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:11-13. 

Paul found contentment because he had learned to see the hand of God in whatever circumstance he was in.  He believed God was using that circumstance to either develop his heart or to bear fruit in a difficult situation by demonstrating Jesus to those who were watching his life.  May we do the same when our life is not yet reflecting the dreams and desires of our hearts.

As Jesus stood before Pilot on Friday morning around 33 A.D., Pilot already knew that the charges brought against Jesus were bogus.  Matthew tells us, “For he knew it was out of self-interest that they had handed Jesus over to him” (Mt. 27:18). The word translated as self-interest in the NIV means envy or jealousy. The gospels are clear that the Pharisees, the chief priests, and the elders felt that Jesus and his popularity threatened their positions as well as invited the Romans to oppress their little nation even more.

In his effort to persuade the crowd and Jewish leaders to release Jesus, Pilot offered to fulfill a Passover tradition of releasing a prisoner. As Israel had been released from bondage in Egypt, Rome would release another Jew from bondage as an acknowledgment of their great feast day.  So, he brought our Barabbas. Mark tells us, “A man called Barabbas was in prison with the insurrectionists who had committed murder in the uprising^” (Mk. 15:7).  All accounts of this man paint him as a thief, a murderer, and an insurrectionist.

In the Gospel of Matthew, Pilot asks the crowd, “Which one do you want me to release to you: Jesus Barabbas, or Jesus who is called the Messiah (Mt. 27:17)? It is ironic that both are named Jesus.  It is even more ironic that Barabbas literally means “son of Abba” or “son of a father.” This was no coincidence because God, who orchestrated everything about his Son’s crucifixion, undoubtedly orchestrated this as well.  One is Jesus, the son of an earthly abba, while the other is Jesus the Son of the heavenly Abba. 

In this very moment, a vivid snapshot of the gospel appears.  The guilty goes free while the innocent takes his place.  One who deserves to die is released, while one who is sinless is condemned to death. The man who is the son of a sinful father walks away while the Son of the Heavenly Father is nailed to a cross. That is the crux of the gospel. The crowd witnessed the eternal gospel that day without understanding what they were seeing, yet it was presented all the same.   Every Easter season it is presented to the crowds, but many never understand. However, God is faithful to present it all the same.

Another question remains, however.  What happened to Barabbas after his release?  The gospels do not say and history leaves no record.  Perhaps. that is God’s intent.  We don’t know the end of the story of this man. Did he continue in his sin and ignore God’s Passover deliverance for him or did he follow the man who took is place and was raised from the dead three days later?  We each must make that choice.

Today is called Good Friday because good came out of it.  Without his death there would have been no atoning sacrifice. Without his death, there would have been no resurrection.  Perhaps, it should also be known as Gospel Friday as each of us see the choice and choose again to follow or ignore the man who took our place.  

This may seem like a strange question, but many, many believers are taught that God does not work outside the natural order of things.  Usually, these denominations teach that God did work in miraculous ways in “Bible days,” but no longer does so.  If you have not been part of one these mainline denominations, this idea may seem strange to you because the natural reading of scripture would never leave you thinking that the God who worked miracles from Genesis to Revelation would suddenly stop intervening in the affairs of men in supernatural ways.  However, these churches still declare that belief in the supernatural gifts of the Spirit and the miraculous works of God is heresy.

The argument goes that miracles were performed, especially in the New Testament, to prove that Jesus was the Son of God, and once the record of all these miracles was written in scripture, the evidence was sufficient and, therefore, no more miracles were required nor necessary.   The roots of this view probably go back to the Renaissance when men began to celebrate the art and science produced by man.  During this period and later, men began to worship their abilities and began to believe that man and his intellect could cure all the ills of the world. The “scientific method” became the gospel for many and anything not subject to man and his reason was considered superstition.  Miracles, which were not subject to the new religion of science, fell out of favor, even among many theologians. 

Even Martin Luther espoused a view that true miracles ceased when the age of the apostles expired.  He taught that men heard from God only through the written Word and not apart from it.  He allowed for healing as a “possible” response to prayer, but thought it was rare.  Certainly, there were no gifts of healing operating. Some historians believe that much of his theology was a response to abuses of “miracles” and “revelation” by the Catholic Church from which he was separating himself.  There were undoubtedly such abuses but the question arises, “Should we discard the power and intervention of God because some abuse the idea?”

In his first letter to the Corinthian church, Paul discusses extensively their abuse of spiritual gifts…especially tongues and prophecy. However, he does not forbid the practice of these gifts, but rather teaches them how to use them correctly – in a way that builds up the church rather than the individual.  Rather than forbidding the exercise of these gifts, he commands everyone to eagerly desire spiritual gifts.

The view that God no longer intervenes in our lives through miracles also spawned the view that the supernatural gifts of the Spirit ceased as well when the apostles died. This view strips the church of her power against the forces of darkness. The argument goes that Jesus ministered in miraculous ways to prove he was the Son of God and the apostles ministered in miraculous ways to prove they were his true representative and that their writings in the New Testament were inspired.  Again…once there was sufficient written evidence, miracles and supernatural gifts were no longer needed for the gospel and faded away.

However, many non-apostles did mighty works through the power of the Spirit – Phillip (Acts 8:6-7) and Stephen (Acts 6:8), as examples. In addition, some, who were not apostles, such as Luke, James, Jude, and the writer of Hebrews,  wrote much of the New Testament.  Jesus declared, “Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father” (Jn. 14:12-13). He didn’t say his apostles would do what he had been doing, but anyone who believes.  He also did not assign a shelf-life to that promise but to whoever believes, whenever they believe. God also clearly gave supernatural gifts to the church – apart from the apostles.  He gave gifts of healing, gifts of miracles, tongues, prophecy, interpretation. discerning of spirits, etc. to ordinary believers to build up the church (See 1 Cor. 12-14).

One of the great deceptions by the enemy is the theology that God no longer intervenes in miraculous ways and these spiritual gifts no longer function.  One of the side effects of this theology is an unspoken belief that the supernatural altogether is superstition. Demons no longer afflict men and angels don’t show up to fight for God’s people.  That belief leaves God’s people powerless in the face of an unseen enemy that is still afflicting them, but goes undetected. Paul clearly says in Ephesians 6 our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against forces of evil in heavenly realms and he points us to divine weapons in 2 Corinthians 10. We cannot defend ourselves from spiritual attacks without spiritual power from spiritual weapons…gifts of the Spirit that are manifestations of God’s power and authority.

Over the years, I have spoken with several people who were involved in witchcraft because when they had gone to the church, the church had no solution for their struggles…no power.  They found power in witchcraft. They discovered it was destructive power, but there was power all the same.  Paul declared, “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power” (1 Cor. 4:20). If there is no power expressed, then the kingdom is not expressed. You would be surprised how many people think Satan is more powerful than God, because this non-miraculous theology has stripped the church of the expression of God’s greatness and power over the enemy.

Several years ago, I counseled with a woman over a period of months who had been subjected to Satanic ritual abuse as a small girl.  During the abuse, she cried out to God to save her but nothing happened.  She had battled severe depression as an adult and, as an adult who still believed in Jesus, she was plagued by the belief that Satan was more powerful than God because she had not been rescued when she was five.  One day, in a period of desperation as she was slipping back into her depression, she was willing to “risk” deliverance.  In the name of Jesus, she was delivered from several tormenting spirits.  For the first time, she was able to believe Jesus was more powerful than Satan and it changed her life.  She knew what the Bible said, but needed to experience that truth before being set free. God’s people and the world still need miracles and the manifest power of the Spirit.

Interestingly, the very definition of a miracle is God intervening in the natural order of things to alter what would have happened without his touch.  Isn’t that why any of us pray?  Why would we ask God to make sure something would happen that would happen anyway without his intervention?  Even if we pray for God to bless the hands of the surgeon, we are asking him to prevent something that might happen in the natural without his intervention.  We are asking him to intervene to prevent a mistake.  By definition we are asking for a miracle. So if we can ask God for that, why not for greater miracles as well. Here’s the rub.  If we only pray for the ordinary, we will only see the ordinary and so confirm our belief thar God acts only in ordinary ways.  But how does that glorify him?  How does that demonstrate his power over the enemy? How does that give his church victory over the schemes and attacks of the devil? 

Every time people doubted the possibility of a miracle, Jesus scolded them as people of little faith.  What would he say to us now and those that no longer believe in the supernatural intervention of God on behalf of his people and this world? It seems to me, there has never been a time when we needed his miracles more than now. Susan and I just spent a weekend with a Free Indeed Ministry in McKinney, Texas.  There we saw healing, deliverance from demons, and lives transformed by the power of Jesus. Without a belief in that power for today those people would still be in the grip of fear, addictions, sexual sin, depression and witchcraft.  But Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever.  He still wants to destroy the works of the devil through his church and miracles should still be the normal expectation in the body of Christ. 

The Word of God trumpets that Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil (1 Jn. 3:8). Whatever Jesus healed, cast out, or overcame were works that the enemy had constructed on the earth through the sin of man.  In the opening salvo of Christ’s war on the devil, he announced that he had come to preach good news to the poor, to heal the brokenhearted, and to set captives free (Luke 4).  He then proceeded to preach the gospel of the kingdom of God, heal every kind of sickness and physical condition, cast our demons, raise the dead, and break the power of sin over countless lives.

However, since then, some Christian leaders a decided that the very things Jesus opposed on the earth did not come from Satan, but from God himself.   Somewhere along the line, theologians decided that since God is sovereign, everything that happens on this planet is his will and has been ordained by heaven.  That kind of theology makes God the author of rape, abortion, famine, war, cancer, birth defects, and crib death. That kind of theology makes God a heartless manipulator of people and circumstances.  But John definitively says that God is love. 

The truth is that there are countless things that happen on this planet that do not reflect the heart or the will of God for his people.  For instance, in his first letter to Timothy, Paul says, “This is right and is acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires everyone to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth (1 Tim.2: 4) Paul clearly states that God’s desire is for every soul to be saved.  Scripture also clearly says that not all will be saved. In the matter of the world’s salvation, God’s desire will not be completely fulfilled.

Even, when the persistent acts and sins of men demand God’s righteous judgment, that is not what God rejoices to do.  In the book of Ezekiel, God says, “Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked?” declares the sovereign Lord.  “Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live” (Ezek. 18:23)?  He also says, “I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none.” (Ezek.22: 30). Sometimes, disaster comes because man leaves God no choice.  Like parents exercising tough love toward a rebellious child, God sometimes brings discipline or judgment.  But it is not his pleasure to do so. 

The world is clearly full of tragedy.  In his sovereignty, God gave man free will and in doing so set limitations on himself in terms of how he would intercede in the affairs of men.  When mankind chooses violence over peace, adultery over faithfulness, abortion over parenthood, bitterness over forgiveness, deception over truth, and rebellion over obedience – bad things happen.  If I give you free will, the risk is that you can use that will to do evil and people are wounded in ways that were never in the heart of God for his people. When men act in such ways, they open themselves and their families up to the work of Satan who comes to kill, steal, and destroy.

However, we understand God and his heart for us, the clearest demonstration of his heart is found in Jesus. Jesus declared in John 14:9 that whoever has seen him (Jesus), has seen the Father.  Whatever Jesus did on the earth is an accurate reflection of the heart of God.  The heart of God, like the heart of God’s Son, is to heal, bless, set free, and eventually abolish death altogether. Nowhere do we ever see Jesus imparting illness, taking life, or releasing misery.

When we blame God for the tragedies, the pain, the sorrows of life, we misjudge his character and his heart for us and undermine faith. When we believe those things are from God, we simply resign ourselves to fate.  That misconception is a great tool of the enemy to alienate people from a God who loves them and to choke off our faith when we pray.  If we ever believe that God’s heart for his children is that they be raped, abused, murdered, ravaged by cancer, stuck in crippling poverty, or die tragically then how will we pray against those things?  How will be believe that God is sitting on the edge of his throne waiting to arise and set his children free from the hate-filled works of the devil?  And yet, that is where he is.

The good news is that disease, disabilities, shattered emotions, broken families and all the rest of Satan’s work is not the heart of God for his people. Isaiah clearly stated that Messiah would come to preach good news,  heal broken hearts, and set captives free (Isa. 61).  Jesus came to begin dismantling those works in individual lives and then in society as a whole.  The church has been commissioned to do what Jesus did and to continue to destroy those works with the love of God and the power of heaven. 

God longs for us to call on him in faith to push back the borders of darkness through us.  He longs to display his power to heal, mend, and set free through us, just as he did through Jesus. There will be times when we may not see our prayers answered and we will not understand the outcomes. We will have to be content to live with mysteries. But we can only face those mysteries well, when we stand on a foundation of being convinced of God’s goodness. Whenever we have it in our hearts to do the works that Jesus did, we can rest assured that heaven is ready to join us in the battle.  Be bold today.  Know that God is on your side when you push back in faith against the kingdom of darkness. You may ask the impossible, when you know who he is.

Have you every noticed how quickly trash accumulates around the house? My wife and I are always amazed at how much trash just the two of us can produce in a week’s time. Maybe we are just trashy folks, but the dumpsters in our neighborhood suggest we are not alone. Spiritual trash can accumulate as well, but since it is invisible, we are much less likely to notice. However, the enemy notices.

In the book of Revelation, Satan is identified as, “the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God, day and night” (Rev. 12:10). In his book, Operating in the Courts of Heaven, Robert Henderson makes his case that Satan relentlessly brings accusations against the people of God in the courts of heaven, seeking a legal right to afflict them. The scene in the first chapter of Job is representative of that activity.

In the Book of Job, God set limits on how seriously Satan could afflict Job. I think he does the same with us, depending on where we are in relationship to him. In Deuteronomy 28, God established the precedent that if His people were careful to keep all of his commands, then blessings would be the consequence of their obedience. if, however, they were not careful and rebelled against God, dire curses would be the consequence.

Paul echoed that same principle when he wrote, ^” Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.  Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life” (Gal. 6:7-8).

It seems that most often, a persistent refusal to confess and repent of sin in our lives will eventually cause God to begin to remove his hand of protection from us or a nation. Satan’s complaint to God about Job was that God had established a hedge of protection around him that Satan could not penetrate…until he got permission from God. When we look at the Old Testament, we see how God’s discipline (consequences of sin), played out. God would allow bad things to happen to Israel that manifested as partial judgments…three years of drought, failed crops, illness, minor defeats by the enemy, etc.. which were intended to call Israel back to God. If they persisted in their sin, the consequences grew, until finally disaster overwhelmed them.

It was as if the more their sin accumulated, the greater Satan’s legal rights increased to afflict God’s people. The remedy was always true repentance and seeking God once more. When Israel repented, renounced their ways, and turned back to obedience, God’s blessings returned. Godly sorrow, confession, and repentance revoked Satan’s legal right to afflict God’s people. It is the same today.

Satan is always looking for ways to accuse us so that he might gain some legal right to afflict or oppress us. The cure is genuine repentance followed by renewed obedience. Sometimes we fail to repent because Satan convinces us that what we are doing is hidden from God or is approved by God or that we somehow have gained an exemption from his discipline…when, in fact, he is just being patient and merciful toward us. The other hiccup in the process is when we are simply unaware of the sin in our lives.

It is amazing how we so often fail to identify pride , unbelief, bigotry, a judgmental spirit, or unforgiveness in our own lives. As Jesus said, we are quick to identify the splinter in someone else’s eye, but fail to see the plank in our own eye. We may also fail to identify sin because we compare ourselves to people around us and feel righteous, rather than comparing ourselves to God’s righteousness. Sometimes, a certain sin has been part of our lives for so long, it seems normal and, therefore, acceptable. David was wise when he prayed, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (Ps. 139:23-24). Sometimes, we need someone else to make us aware of a sin that is actually making us vulnerable to the enemy.

The other hiccup in this process is that we may be experiencing the consequence of unrepented sin in our family line. Exodus 20:5-6 states, ” for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me,  but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.” Frequently, in scripture, you will find men who are seeking God for themselves or the nation, confessing and repenting for the sins of their fathers on behalf of their bloodlines. We may need to become more acquainted with family history to know how to pray about generational sins, or we may need to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal what may be giving Satan a right to afflict us from the sins of our fathers.

As followers of Jesus, we may feel that all of our sin and the sins of our fathers are automatically covered by the blood of Christ. When we are talking about salvation that is absolutely true. However, when talking about reaping and sowing in this life, we may face affliction or oppression, because we have not taken out the trash on a regular basis. After David’s sin with Bathsheba, Nathan the prophet confronted him. David repented and Nathan declared he was forgiven. In other words, he was reconciled to God after his sin, bur he was also told he would have to walk through some of the consequences of his actions in this life. His salvation was not the issue, but the principle of sowing and reaping still applied.

In John 1:9, John is writing to believers, but he says, “If we confess our sin, God is faithful and just to forgive our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” It is not as though the blood of Christ does not atone for our sin until we have confessed each and every one, but confession (with repentance) keeps the enemy from gaining access to us in the courts of heaven and keeps our relationship with the Father unhindered. That should be a regular practice in the prayer life of every believer.

Let me encourage you, to ask the Spirit and the people who know you best to inform you if they see any patterns of sin displayed in your life or if they know of any generational sin you need to submit to the cross. Taking the trash out on a regular basis keeps rot, stink, and critters from invading your home. That is true with spiritual trash as well. I am not advocating an obsession about our sin, but a standing invitation for the Holy Spirit or those we trust to make us aware, so the enemy can gain no legal right to come after us. Blessings in Him.

I’m sure we all have certain passages marked in our Bibles that the Holy Spirit has highlighted for us.  Sometimes I mark them, then forget them, but when I’m reading back through the Bible, I run across them again and remember why I  put brackets around the text. One of those is in Proverbs.

“Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy” (Prov. 28:13).

John said a similar thing in his first letter.  “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 Jn. 1:9).

One of the most frequent points of access Satan has in a believer’s life is unconfessed, unrepented sin.  One of the most persistent themes in scripture is God calling Israel to repent and come back to him so that he might bless them again.  A sample is found in Joel 2 after another extended period of rebellion by God’s chosen people.  These seasons of rebellion lasted for years.  They were filled with national idolatry, blatant sexual immorality, injustice for the poor, disrespect for the God of Israel, children offered in the fires of Molech, and indifference for the temple of God.

In the Book of Joel, we see a final warning of coming devastation if Israel does not acknowledge their sin and repent. He warns them of a natural disaster that is already on the way…swarms of locust that will dwarf the plague that fell on Egypt.  When this “army” comes, it will devastate every living plant in the nation.  Nothing will remain.  Trees will be stripped down to their bark.  All grains, grass, olive trees, vineyards, and vegetables will be devoured by these swarms.  There will be no grass or grain to feed the animals, no grain for bread, no grapes for wine, no olives for olive oil, no fruit from the trees.  There will be famine and all the suffering that accompanies that curse.  Yet in the midst of God’s warning and admonition to his people, He says…

“Even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.” Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity. Who knows? He may turn and relent and leave behind a blessing— grain offerings and drink offerings for the Lord your God” (Joel 2:12-14)

In another place, Ezekiel records the words of God when he says, “Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? declares the Sovereign Lord. Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live? (Ezek. 18:23).

Although God is clearly revealed as a forgiving and compassionate God, there still remains a strong propensity in the nature of man, even in believers, to conceal our sin and not confess. 

Sometimes, we are ignorant of our sin…we didn’t know it was wrong.  Many believers have not been discipled well or taught the whole counsel of God.  When they discover that they are sinning, they are genuinely surprised.  For instance, an amazing number of young single Christians in America come to church and share, without hesitation, the fact they are living together.  They are living out a cultural norm and are often shocked to find that God does not approve.  

The rest of us may not want to give up something in our lives…maybe alcohol we can’t control, power, control, manipulation, sexual sin we are keeping secret, anger that makes us feel powerful, etc.  We rationalize the sin or minimize it as something that is not “that bad.”  Sometimes we keep it secret because we fear the fallout, if others knew.  Adultery is often hidden for years or always.  Pornography is often a secret sin that can go on for decades. 

Satan convinces us that we can’t help it, therefore, God should not hold us accountable.  He convinces us that “everyone does it,” so we should get a pass on the issue.  He also convinces us that we participated, but someone else is actually to blame so God will overlook our failures. So…the sin goes unacknowledged, unconfessed and unrepented.   But God says, that person will not prosper in the things that truly matter…body, soul, spirit, and relationships.  Those will all suffer when sin is hidden, excused, minimized or denied.

David and Saul may be the greatest examples of this dynamic.  Saul was disobedient on several significant occasions, but, when confronted, always found a way to blame others, declare he had obeyed God when his obedience was only partial, or claim he couldn’t help it.   Eventually, he lost his kingdom, his life and the lives of his sons, and is remembered as a failed king. 

Then there was David.  He did things even Saul didn’t do…adultery, murder, and abusing his power to cover up the sin.  Yet in Psalm 51, we find David openly confessing his sin.  He doesn’t deny it, blame others for it, minimize it, or claim he couldn’t help himself.  He never tried to bargain with God or talk about all the good things he had done that should get him a “get-out-of- jail-free card for this one “incident.”

True, David hid the sin for a number of months out of shame and out of fear regarding the fallout if people knew the truth.  But the Spirit of God through,, the prophet Nathan, brought him to a place of confession and repentance. Trusting in the character of God, he began the Psalm, “Have mercy on me O God according to your unfailing love, according to your great compassion.”  The moment David showed godly sorrow and confessed his sin, it was forgiven.  There would be consequences in the natural realm for David’s sin, but his relationship with God was immediately restored and God promised to walk with him through the fires of the fallout.  Despite, his moral failure, David is still remembered as the greatest king of Israel and “a man after God’s own heart.”   Part of his greatness was in owning his failures, declaring that God’s standards were righteous, and trusting in the heart of a good, good Father.

When we fail to acknowledge our sin, confess, and repent, we reveal some things about our heart.  Either we don’t love God, because if we love him we obey him, or we believe he is unfair and unreasonable in his standards.  Perhaps, we hide or excuse our sin because we believe he is a harsh and angry God just waiting to punish and abuse us. Perhaps, we believe we are saved by our own righteousness rather than by grace and, therefore, have to deny our sin while we eagerly point to the sins of others, to maintain our standing.  But all of those reasons and that view of God are misplaced.  Satan will establish strongholds through our unbelief or our denial of our sin.  If we think we are hiding our sin from God because we have not acknowledged it, we are also deceived because God knows everything,

Yet God’s heart is always ready to forgive and receive when we return with godly sorrow taking full responsibility for our choices.  The story of the Prodigal Son is the embodiment of our Father’s heart (Luke 15). So…you may want to take an inventory of your life.  Is there a sin you have denied, excused, minimized or hidden that you have not owned or confessed?  If so, Satan has every right to afflict you and those you love. 

The key to prospering in the things that matter, is to lay our sins, our weaknesses and our failings at the foot of the cross, believing that God is a good, good Father just waiting for us to return and be restored.  Besides, your sin will not stay hidden forever.  Either God will reveal it to cleanse you or Satan will reveal it to destroy you. It is best to take it to the Father right away.

If you haven’t noticed, a political spirit is a spirit that sows division, anger and even hatred among men.  It can be clearly seen on every network and at every political gathering in America at present.  Of course, Satan wants to divide the nation, foment violence, and create caricatures of each party that paint each of them as the spawn of Satan.  The division right now is pushing America toward more violence and even thoughts of civil war.

Worse than a divided nation, the church is being divided by the same spirit.  Christians now accept or reject other believers on the basis of their political affiliations rather than whether they have the Spirit of Christ.  We need to guard the church against such divisions and guard our own hearts as well.

I was reading through Romans this morning and Romans 14 really spoke to me about this issue.  Concerning fellow believers with whom we don’t agree, Paul says, “Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently” (Rom. 14:1, the Message). 

This whole section of Romans 14 is worth reading with our current political backdrop.  Paul clearly says there are going to be “disputable matters” of doctrine in the church. That is because even sincere Christians who study the word diligently can come to different conclusions about God’s will.  Paul addresses those who eat meat and those who do not.  He mentions some people that keep one day as sacred and holy while others consider every day to be the same.  Some people drink wine while others think believers should abstain. Remarkably, he says each group is acceptable to God if they are operating out of a sincere heart and believe it is God’s will. He goes on to say that we must not try to force our view of the scriptures on them and they are not to force their view on us.  We are not to judge one another as more or less acceptable to God. We are not to judge one another, but allow God be the judge.

Paul is not saying that anything goes as long as we are sincere.  In other places, Paul calls on the church to withdraw fellowship from some who are creating issues without repentance.  In 1 Corinthians, he instructs the church to have nothing to do with the man who was living an openly immoral life (1 Cor. 5:2). John tells us to not even eat with those who would bring false teachings about Jesus…his divinity, his incarnation, his resurrection and so forth (2 Jn. 7-10). Paul clearly leaves no place in the church for men who would teach that salvation is based on works (Gal. 1:8-9).  He even says to mark anyone who constantly creates division and have nothing to do with them (Titus 3:10).

However, we are all prisoners to some degree of our culture, upbringing, parental worldviews, and even God-given temperaments.  Because of that, we will unknowingly place those filters on our Bible study and will not be able to totally escape our biases, regardless of how objective we try to be. 

A Jew may intellectually accept that Sabbath keeping is no longer required under the New Covenant,  but Sabbath keeping has been part of his life from birth and  his conscience may still trouble him if he does not keep the Sabbath.  Paul says to him, keep the Sabbath but don’t make it a salvation issue and don’t require others to do the same.  Likewise, we who have no attachment to Sabbath keeping should not forbid others from doing so.  There is freedom in Christ about many things and how we understand some of those things may differ from other believers. What Paul does emphasize is that more mature believers who understand their freedom should not exercise it or insist on it when less mature believers would be condemned by their conscience if they participated. A young believer who grew up Hindu is not going to feel fully free to eat meet for years as a Christian.  If we have him over for dinner, keep the meat in the fridge. When he leaves, pull out the brisket.

But now we are thinking…yes, but the Democrat or Republican platform is offensive to God and I cannot tolerate or fellowship those sinners who support that platform. I agree that some platforms seem to violate biblical values and standards.  However, I am still commanded to love my brother.   If I feel a brother’s political stance violates scripture, I am still commanded to love him, speak well of him, bless him, and keep pointing point him to Jesus.  If he is biblically off base, but is still seeking Jesus above politics, the Holy Spirit will lead him into all truth.  It may well be that I too am “off base” about some things in scripture.  I welcome a brother who holds a different view and points me to some scriptures for my prayer and consideration.  If he deems me, however, to be a bad person because I don’t agree with him, we will move toward division rather than unity in the church.

We must insist that salvation is not based on our political affiliation but on our relationship with Christ, who says we must love one another as he loved us.  John says if we don’t love our brothers whom we can see, we can’t love God whom we cannot see.  We are also commanded to speak well of those who speak evil of us, love those who would harm us, pray for them, and do good to them.  Our political system is pushing us to do just the opposite.  It is clear, then, who is behind the political spirit in our country.  As believers, we cannot give into that spirit.  The next few years will test our discipleship in that area.  Our divide cannot be greater than the divide between Jew and Gentile in the first century, yet they came together as brothers and sisters in Christ, making that the reason for fellowship not cultural or even political agreement.

How would it change things if we simply said, “I have a different view on that but I still love you and value you.  You are my brother (or sister) in Christ, Let me encourage you to seek God and his word on your position on and I am open to hear your reasons from scripture why you believe that is God’s will for America.  In the meantime, lets both do good together and point people to Jesus.  Now, let me ask the Lord to bless you and your family.” 

Let me encourage you to examine your own heart in this area. As I examined my heart, I realizes this political spirit had made some inroads that I needed to renounce and repent of.  Satan loves to see America divided, but rejoices when the church divides. Let’s not give him a win in the church or the nation.  Perhaps, unity it the church can lead to unity in the nation.

When we talk about the spiritual realm, many believers still have a vague notion about heaven and the spiritual realm in general.  Many still think of it as ethereal, airy, or even ghostly.  They think of it as a place without real substance and, perhaps, still think of winged saints floating on clouds and playing harps. Nothing can be further from the truth.

The spiritual realm is very real and very substantive…both the kingdom of darkness and the kingdom of light.  In the same way people imagine heaven as some place without substance, they think of hell in the same way and tend to fictionalize Satan because we have a deficit in our overall view of the spiritual realm.

Let’s begin with the unseen realm, in general.  Paul declares, “For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Cor. 4:18).  If something is eternal, it has more substance, more power, and is a greater reality than those things that are temporary.  The bodies we will  receive at the resurrection will be eternal, immune to disease, and untouched by death.  They will not age, feel exhaustion, or break down.  They will be spiritual bodies with substance while living on a restored earth.  Like the glorified body of Jesus after the resurrection, there will be substance.  He ate.  He talked.  He let his disciples touch him, put their hands in his, and touch the place where the spear was thrust.  Yet, it was superior.  He could pass through walls, change appearance, and ascend into heaven or Paradise with that body. So the spiritual realm is far superior to the natural realm.

In the current heaven, the one Randy Alcorn calls an intermediate heaven in his book Heaven, he notes that there is already a heavenly Jerusalem revealed to John and described in the Book of Revelation.  The heavenly Jerusalem currently has streets of gold, the throne room of God, myriads of angels and saints who have already gone to be with Jesus.  There are gates made of pearl. There is a heavenly tabernacle after which the earthly tabernacle was fashioned (Heb. 8:1-2).   Alcorn calls it an intermediate heaven because, the Book of Revelation reveals that at the end, the Heavenly Jerusalem will come down and rest on a restored earth where we will be God’s people and live with him forever. The promise of Eden will be reclaimed.

So, the spiritual realm is not a ghostly, ethereal place with little to no substance.  It is real. It is solid. It is eternal.  It has buildings, a throne room, a sanctuary, court rooms, bowls of burning incense, powerful angels who do the bidding of God and saints who are waiting for all this to culminate in the return of Christ to the earth.

Likewise, the demonic or satanic realm is real and solid.  Paul tells us, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground” (Eph. 6:12-13). Power, organization, and demonic forces exist in the spiritual realm that oppose the will of God and strategize against God’s people.  Paul also states, “For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins” (Col. 1:13). Dominion requires a domain, a territory, an area of authority.  There is a kingdom of darkness over which Satan is the prince.  He has territory, armies, and rulers under him that do his bidding.

Jesus called him the prince of this world and Paul states, “As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient” (Eph. 2:1-20).  “Kingdom” implies territory, power, subjects, armies, etc.  Satan is no match for Jesus, but in his sovereignty, God still allows him to exercise power and the authority people and nations give him on this earth.

In these last days, the kingdom of darkness is pulling out all the stops.  Those humans who serve Satan – witches, warlocks, satanists, etc. actively and willingly serve him and oppose the people of God.  Many others are unwittingly used by the enemy to oppose righteousness in the earth so that entire cultures now call evil good and good evil. 

All this is to remind us that the spiritual realm is very real and more powerful and consequential than the natural realm.  Those who deny the reality of these things or who do not take them seriously will be easy targets for the enemy.  They will live unaware of Satan’s schemes and so will easily step into his traps. They will be ineffective soldiers who do not know how to wage war with divine weapons.  They will search out solutions for all their problems within the natural realm. When the source of their problem is demonic attacks and satanic strategies, they will not be able to touch the spiritual roots of their crisis and will never gain victory.  They will not be able to pray effectively and will not wield the authority and power of Christ against spiritual enemies. Churches, nations, and families will be ravaged by the enemy because they will not know how to recognize or stand against the attacks that scripture says are inevitable.

Let me encourage you to pay more attention to the spiritual realm.  Jesus has given us all we need to overcome the enemy, but we have to be aware of the enemy’s schemes, know what is in the arsenal of heaven, and know how to use the divine weapons he has provided.  Be blessed in the days ahead.

This past week, my wife Susan and I had the privilege of taking care of our 2 ½ year old granddaughter while her parents were out of the country.  I was reminded how often we respond to God as if we are 2 ½ years old.  What I saw play out over and over every day and night was the Eden Syndrome.  You remember the first temptation ever recorded in scripture was the account of the cunning serpent (Satan) and Eve.  His strategy was simple.  Get Eve to doubt the goodness of God and the goodness of his intentions for her.

The moment the serpent said, “Did God really say you must not eat from any tree in the garden,” he began to plant a seed of doubt.  I’m sure his emphasis was on “really,” as if to say, “I know God and it doesn’t surprise me one bit that he would keep all these good things from you.” One of Satan’s primary strategies from the beginning has been to convince us that God keeps many good things from us, the best things, things that would make us happy.  We see the commands of God as restrictions that keep us from being all we could be or that keep is from the happiness we need or deserve.  The truth is that God’s commands are not restrictions, but protections.  They are guardrails are meant to keep us on the road and out of the ditch.  I don’t know about where you live, but in Midland, Texas the most constant road sign we see is “guardrail damage ahead.”  Lots of people apparently need guardrails to keep them from running off the road because they are always under repair.  We all need guardrails sooner or later.

Our granddaughter apparently believes we are withholding the best things life has to offer a two-year-old.  The great battle, of course, was sleep.  Every night we began to give her advance notice that bedtime was coming soon. She would begin to let us know that sleep was her great enemy…as if it were going to be eight hours of excruciating torture.  She would immediately declare “No!” to the whole idea.  When jammies were pulled out, she would begin to plead her case and offer all the reasons she could not go to bed. “I’m hungry!  I’m thirsty! I’m scared! I miss mommy and daddy! There might be a dog in my room! There are elephants in my room! etc.   All these objections were vocalized in a wailing tone that made them hard to decipher.

This battle occurred nightly.  She never won the battle, but still rolled it out night after night.  We knew she desperately needed sleep. We desperately needed her to sleep. She had to get up the next morning for daycare.  She is growing and her body needs rest.  The next day will be a long day. If she doesn’t sleep, she will be miserable for that entire day.  Sleeplessness will compromise her immune system, and so forth.  As we explained all the documented reasons she needed sleep, none of those had any effect on her.

Then there was breakfast. Cranky after a short night’s rest, she had to be coaxed to eat a good breakfast.  So, we offered sausage and eggs to be followed by a blueberry muffin.  She wanted the muffin first.  We insisted she eat the nutritious part first. She wanted to negotiate.  Muffin first!  We knew the muffin would dull her appetite, so we declined.  That battle would ensue.  Eventually, she ate her eggs and got her muffin.  But health was not her concern. Sugar was her morning key to happiness.

So why the nightly tantrums?  Did she think we were holding out on her and that we got out the really cool toys or rolled out the pie and ice cream while she slept, and she didn’t want to miss out?  Has she not lived long enough to project what her future would hold if she didn’t sleep?  Whatever she was thinking, she was clearly not thinking she could trust us to help her maximize her life as a two-year-old. She was not thinking that since we had decades more experience about what makes life good, she could trust our judgment for her. She believed she could simply live in the moment, pursuing what her flesh was demanding, and never experience a negative consequence for doing so. 

Sadly, we often respond to God in the same way.  We see the guardrails he has posted around us as his way of keeping our true source of happiness from us. Satan convinces us that God does not always act out of infinite love and point us to what is always absolutely in our best interest.  All we know is what we are wanting at the moment.  But James warns us about that mindset. He says, “But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desires and enticed. Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death” (Ja.  1:14-15).

Our flesh is a two-year-old demanding its way.  It believes that happiness is found in immediate gratification and Satan whispers all the reasons we should ignore God and go for what we want.  We may know what God says, but something in us believes he is holding out on us…the thing right in front of us holds more blessing than the thing God wants us to wait on.  Satan convinces us that we can grab what we want now without consequence, even when God has told us there is calamity at the end of the road, especially, if you choose to crash through the guardrails.

Here is what I know.  Sometimes I act like a two-year-old as If I can go my own way without consequence. I need to convince myself that I often don’t really know what is in my best interest.  God does know.  He has all w\isdom and perspective. His commands are protections not restrictions.  The abundant life does not come by resisting rest or eating my muffin first.  It comes by trusting God and saying ‘No!” to the lies and temptations of the evil one, who only comes to kill, steal, and destroy.  From time to time, I need to take a lesson from my granddaughter who only knows what she wants in the moment and believes it is the absolute key to her happiness…but she is wrong.