How often do we hear the word “deserve” used in our culture and, especially, on television ad campaigns? “Get all the benefits you deserve.” “Find all the happiness you deserve.” “Finally, you can live in that dream house you deserve!” There are times when we definitely deserve some things because we have earned them. If you put in the hours at work and do the job, you deserve to be paid. If you have poured out the sweat to learn a craft, develop a skill, or become the best in a certain field you merit some recognition. However, in our entitlement culture of participation trophies and no criticisms or rebukes, too many of us feel we deserve only good things and positive outcomes, simply because we exist.
There are numerous dangers attached to that mindset, but the spiritual dangers are immense. The moment I begin to believe that I am simply entitled to everything that others have, I feel cheated and victimized when I don’t have the possessions, the position, or the recognition of those around me. Any rebuke, criticism, or discipline that comes my way is met with my anger and my demands that you or life has been unfair to me. What I am finding is that the entitlement mindset in our culture is creating an anger towards God because we think he hasn’t given us everything we desire and deserve.
That mindset eventually robs us of a heart of thankfulness and gratitude, which is a key to spiritual life and even spiritual warfare. Paul taught the Philippians, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil.4:6-7). Peace in our hearts is a quality that keeps Satan at bay.
Thanksgiving places the emphasis on the goodness and generosity of God rather my own entitlement. My assurance in the goodness of God, despite my circumstances, leads to peace and peace guards my heart. The belief that I should always have what others have, with no effort on my part, and that I am not loved unless I get everything I want, breeds a life of envy and jealousy. It robs a man or woman of contentment and is an open door for the enemy.
One of the key lessons to life and maturity is to understand Paul’s admonition to the Galatians. “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest” (Gal.6:7). God has established a principle that we harvest what we plant in this life…both in the natural realm and the spiritual realm. A harvest requires personal investment, work, effort, patience, and faith. Any other view is deception. Certainly, gifts come to us that we did not earn, but those are the exception in life rather than the rule. Our salvation is a gift from God, not something we could earn, but kingdom rewards come as a result of our faithful service to the King and our patient pursuit of His kingdom.
For our children who have developed an entitlement mentality through our desire to give them everything they want when they want it, along with status and recognition they have not earned through effort, life is going to be a series of disappointments that they blame on everyone but themselves – including God. The belief that they deserve all the perks of life and the blessings of the Kingdom without real effort on their part, is going to shortchange them in the long run and leave them empty and bitter. They will eventually feel cheated by life and eventually feel victimized by everyone and every circumstance.
What we need to understand is that the only thing any of us truly deserve is eternity in hell. Everything else should be considered a gift for which we are truly thankful even when it took effort on our part to receive it. Our focus must remain on what we have rather than what we don’t have. What God has done for us, rather than something he hasn’t yet done for us.
Paul spoke about the fact that he had learned the secret of contentment in every circumstance – when he had plenty and when he had little. The secret was his faith in the goodness and sovereignty of God. He believed in every circumstance, what he had was designed by God to bring out the best in him and to produce the greatest harvest through him. Even when he suffered, he believed there was some significant purpose that redeemed the suffering. He never questioned God’s love when he didn’t have the position, possessions, or recognition “he deserved.” He was simply thankful for what he did have – especially eternal life. That needs to be our perspective on life and entitlement as well, and we need to teach that to our children.
