There is an intimate relationship between joy and hope. While optimism makes us live as if someday soon things will go better for us, hope frees us from the need to predict the future and allow us to live in the present, with the deep trust that God will never leave us alone but will fulfill the deepest desires of our heart. Joy in this perspective is the fruit of hope. When I trust deeply that today God is truly with me and holds me safe in a divine embrace, guiding everyone of my steps, I can let go of my anxious need to know how tomorrow will look, or what will happen next month or next year. I can be fully where I am and pay attention to the many signs of God’s love within me and around me. (Henri Nouwen, Here and Now, p.33)

I like what Nouwen has said in this paragraph but I also believe his last statement is much broader than joy. We need to look for the evidence of God’s love in the smallest and largest of things because our greatest need is to truly believe we are deeply loved by our Father and our Creator. The thing that keeps nibbling away at my faith and that keeps me from asking for outlandish things is that I’m not sure that he loves me enough to keep me safe and do those things for me.

The thing that keeps me from embracing my position in heaven and walking confidently in the gifts of the Spirit is my awareness of my failings and my doubt that God loves me all that much because of those failings. I then live with the sense that if God doesn’t love me all that much he won’t give me the gifts I hunger for nor be there for me when I try to exercise those gifts. I fear he will be an absent or indifferent father to me.

The other huge thing my doubt affects is my ability to love. My experience tells me that we can’t love others if we doubt that we ourselves are loved by someone significant to us. Knowing that God loves me is everything. Noticing all the ways he loves me confirms that love in my heart and when I have love I can give love.

We can easily become like the older son in the parable of the prodigal who is so caught up in the day to day business of life that he failed to notice how his father loved him and provided for him every day. Then, when he realized he hadn’t been given a big party, he decided that his father didn’t love him at all. So often we ignore the myriad of things God does for us and then decide in one moment that he has never loved us when one disappointment comes our way.

Think about the little things. Smell the roses and the coffee. The little prayers that were answered as well as the big ones. They are both from God. Thank him for every little thing and the big things will take care of themselves. When I come to truly believe that the God of Heaven loves me deeply and thinks about me continuously, I will walk across this planet with hope, joy and the confidence of knowing that I am his.