One of the most common experiences of Christians is having someone on their heart that needs the Lord, but not knowing exactly how to pray for that person. It may be someone who once had a relationship with Jesus but has now walked away or someone who has never given their heart to God. Very often it is a wife praying for her husband or parents praying for an adult child who is not living for the Lord or who never accepted the Lord.
Because these tend to be long-term prayers, we often wonder if our prayers are making any impact at all because we are not seeing life change in the one for whom we have been praying. Often we have prayed for months or even years to see our loved ones begin to seek the Lord but without evident effect. Because the Spirit of God must persuade and motivate without violating the free will of the one for whom we are praying, this process can be very drawn out. Sometimes, God is simply waiting for a defining, life-altering event that he knows is on the horizon. Though the thought that this may be a long, drawn out process may be discouraging, the truth is encouraging. The truth is that the thing that keeps any person from belief is a lie from the enemy that exalts itself against the word of God, but we are promised that divine weapons have the capacity to pull down or demolish those strongholds.
I like the Living Bible’s translation of 2 Corinthians 10:4-5. Speaking of divine or God-powered weapons, that version says, “These weapons can break down every proud argument against God and every wall that can be built to keep men from finding Him. With these weapons I can capture rebels and bring them back to God, and change them into men whose heart’s desire is obedience to Christ.”
Our prayers for unbelieving loved ones must reach these strongholds in their hearts and minds that keep them from receiving the love and truth of God. Because our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against spiritual powers and principalities, our best rational arguments, pleading, manipulations, and even coercion make little headway. Let me suggest a few ways to pray for our lost loved ones that touch these places and tear down the strongholds that keep them in bondage.
First of all, we should pray for God to preserve the life of our loved one while this process of salvation is unfolding. We should not always pray for God to remove their struggles because many of us find God in a struggle or crisis, but we should pray for protection over their lives.
Secondly, we can ask Jesus to heal the broken heart of the one we are praying for. In Luke 4, Jesus quotes Isaiah 61 and says it defines his mission to a lost world. He says that he has come to heal the brokenhearted and set captives free. In most cases, the enemy plants lies and builds barriers through wounds and brokenness. Healing may need to come before captives can be set free and before strongholds can be totally torn down.
Thirdly, we should pray for the Holy Spirit to lift the veil or the deception that Satan has placed over his/her mind through revelation and enlightenment by which that person may begin to see things as they really are. Paul prayed for the church at Ephesus to receive a spirit of wisdom and revelation so that they might grasp what God had done for them and how much he loves them. Certainly, those we pray for need to grasp that as well.
In addition, we can pray for the Holy Spirit to hover over the one we are praying for in order to birth faith and a spiritual hunger in his/her heart. In Genesis, we are told that the Holy Spirit brooded or hovered over the chaos that was on the face of the earth and brought order out of that chaos. Often, those we pray for have a chaotic mind when it comes to the things of God. We can ask the Spirit to help them make sense of God’s truth.
We should also pray that God would put godly people in the path and life or those we are praying for so that they might influence them for Jesus. Even Jesus said that a prophet has no honor in his own town or family. The brothers of Jesus didn’t believe he was the Messiah until after his resurrection. They just could not see him as anything but their older brother and defined him by the childhood rivalries they had experienced. Sometimes we are not the ones to lead a loved one to Jesus, but we are the ones who can pray for God to put someone else in his or her life who can.
We should also bind any spirits that are oppressing our loved one in the name of Jesus, command them to be silent, and to leave that person never to return. We should specifically bind pride, rebellion, lying spirits, spirits of unbelief and religious spirits. We should forbid them from speaking and from continuing to establish any thought patterns contrary to the Word of God. We should declare the destruction of those strongholds by the authority and power of Christ and command them to come down as the walls of Jericho came down. Declaring things in the spiritual realm is often like using a battering ram. Every time we declare God’s power and sovereignty over a spirit or a circumstance we weaken the walls of that stronghold. Eventually, they will crumble and fall if we do not lose heart. We should also declare, in the name of Jesus, that no weapon formed against the one for whom we are praying shall prosper or succeed.
Finally, we may pray for God to assign angels to protect our loved one and to keep the enemy from him/her and to show every lie of Satan for what it is. There are also times that we may need to pray for God to remove an ungodly influence from the life of the person for whom we are praying. That could mean a breakup in a relationship, a job change, or simply a fresh set of eyes through which to view that person.
Warfare is a dirty business. It takes perseverance, faith, consistency and a long-term view of things. It takes aggressive prayer and aggressive declarations. It takes faith that God is in the mix and working even when we cannot see what he is doing. It takes strategy and confidence in the one who leads the battle. When we pray for another’s salvation, we know that we are aligned with God’s will who wants all men to be saved so we can pray with confidence. Our job is to pray constantly and continue to direct the power of heaven toward our loved one with our prayers and to exert the power of heaven with our declarations. God will back us.
And remember, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Gal.6:9). May you be constantly filled with faith and endurance as you pray for the salvation of another. May you also know with confidence that God is able and willing to tear down every stronghold through your prayers as you war for the soul of one whom God loves even more than you do.
