The holidays are wonderful times of love and laughter for many families as they gather around a warm Thanksgiving table or around a brilliant Christmas tree.  For many others, the holidays are darker because their family get-togethers resurrect old emotional wounds inflicted by some family member in their past or because they know that before the day is over, “that person” will say something hurtful to them again.  

I’m officiating a wedding this week and, in that ceremony, I will take a moment to talk about the power of our spoken words.  The familiar proverb (Prov. 18:21) declares that “the tongue has the power of life or death.”   Never is that more true than in marriages and in families.  

Years ago, when I first became aware of that proverb, I thought of it as figurative language that was reminding us that we could hurt people with our words or encourage people with our words. That is certainly true, but I now take the proverb literally.  Our negative words cannot only sting a person’s heart and assault a person’s perception of their worth and value, but can also set things in motion in the spiritual realm to enforce the things we declare over others.  That is the nature of a curse and curses are very real.  

In Numbers 22-24, we encounter the story of Balaam.  In the story, Balak, the king of Moab, tries to hire Balaam to declare a curse over Israel. Israel had encamped on the borders of Moab and were so numerous that Moab was terrified of them.  Apparently, Balaam was well known and had a track record for cursing and blessing because Balak declared, “Now come and put a curse on these people, because they are too powerful for me. Perhaps, then I will be able to defeat them and drive then out of the land. For I know, that whoever you bless is blessed and whoever you curse is cursed.”  

Balak wanted Balaam to speak words over Israel that would invite or direct demonic forces to afflict Israel. Perhaps, spirits of fear would rob Israel of courage on the eve of battle.  Perhaps, spirits of infirmity would inflict some sickness on the people so that they could not fight or fight well. Perhaps, a spirit of confusion would cause them to choose battle plans that would be doomed to fail.  That is the nature of a curse.  Some words give demonic spirits permission to afflict, harass, or oppress someone.  That is especially true when one person has authority over another…such as a parent over a child. Words can also bring blessings. That is the nature of our prayers and words of good will we speak over others.

Before we write off the story of Balaam as an expression of superstition by Balak who “believed such nonsense,” we need to note that God himself took the curse very seriously.  If you read the story, God told Balaam that he must not curse those he had blessed.  Balaam, kept trying to find ways to declare the curse because he wanted the payoff from Balak.  God took the curse so seriously, that at one point, God sent an angel to kill him if he persisted in his efforts to declare the curse.  

All this is to say that our words have power to bless or curse those we speak them to.  Many families and even spouses have spoken curses over one another with their hurtful and accusing words and those words have invited the enemy to come and fulfill the words that were spoken over a family member…perhaps, for generations.

God directs his people to speak only blessings over others…even our enemies (Luke 6:38).  We need to speak positive things over ourselves as well. This is simply a reminder to speak positive words over others because most of us know the damage of negative words.  If you are with a family with a hurtful history during the holidays, this may be a challenge. However, speak life even over your enemies or hurtful family members, regardless of what they might say to you. When we speak, we are sowing seeds of life or death and we reap what we sow.  Curses come back to us, but so do blessings.  So, watch your words and be blessed in all you do.