Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of allcomfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.  2 Corinthians 1:3-4

The holidays can be a wonderful season filled with good food, good memories, and the joy of family and friends.  They can also be a time of stark pain for those who have just lost loved ones or who have suffered some other trauma.  The holidays highlight life as it should be. But they also magnify the empty places around the table, the pain of a serious diagnosis, or the loss of a job when you could least afford it.

I have been part of many funerals that fell in November and December… just a few days ago a five-day old little girl. Unfortunately, the feelings of pain and sorrow will be anchored to holidays for years to come. With Silver Bells and Silent Night will also come painful memories and questions about what might have been.  

In those moments, the passage above can be enormously helpful.  We are reminded that God is a God of compassion and comfort.  Compassion means that he feels our pain. He feels with us. He has genuine empathy for what we are going through.  Perhaps, he put himself in our place as he watched his beloved Son ridiculed, spit upon, suffering, and nailed to a cross.  If we think God sat on his throne watching what was going on emotionally detached, we have missed the point entirely. I am convinced he suffered with his Son. Jesus wept at the grave of Lazarus, not because Lazarus was gone but because he felt the pain of those around him.  He is a God who can be touched by our pain.

The word translated “comfort” comes from the same word used to describe the Holy Spirit –  paraklete.  It is a word that means one who is called alongside to comfort, encourage, give solace, console, or alleviate sorrow. It is one who gives emotional support in times of loss or crisis. On dark nights we need a God of compassion and comfort.  Sometimes he shows up in the form of people who care about you so please don’t turn them away in your sorrow or isolate yourself.  Sometimes he shows up as the Holy Spirit speaks hope and comfort to your mind and heart.  When you are hurting…ask for God, look for God.  He is around you if you have eyes to see and ears to hear.  

Paul goes on to say that we are to comfort others with the comfort we have received.  I realized years ago that our healing is never complete until we help others heal. The thing that qualifies us for that ministry is our own suffering.  When real trauma visits us, we often ask “Why?” We wonder why God would allow such a thing in our lives or in the life of someone we love. We rarely get a clear answer to that question, but God does tell us how we can redeem the pain and give it meaning.  We do so by helping others through the same briar patch we just passed through ourselves.  

This holiday season may be a painful reminder to you of what you have lost…a loved one, a marriage, a career, your health, or your purpose. You may be a few years away from helping others. But the God of compassion and the God of all comfort, is nearby for scripture declares that God is close to the brokenhearted (Ps. 34:18). Lean on Him.  Go to church.  Call a friend who understands where you are at.   Don’t isolate yourself because that makes you an easy target for the enemy. There may be moments when you wonder if God actually loves you. He does, but most often he will love you through his people.  Plan ahead.  Put yourself in places where you can be encouraged and supported.  Most of all, cry out to God when the pain rushes in.  He is not detached and he is not far away.