As we begin this series, I want to start fleshing out our identity in Christ by talking more about the importance of identity. As I have said before, there is probably nothing that impacts us more than our identity or our sense of self.  Most of us spend our entire lives trying to determine who we are and whether we really matter – whether our lives really matter.   We are born into this world without a notion of who we are or what we are. We develop ideas about those critical issues mostly from the way others respond to us.

If I am nurtured, loved, celebrated, supported, and valued when I am young, I will grow up believing that I am significant, competent, and worthy of love because I was treated that way. I will expect others to value me because I was valued by my family and I was told over and over that I was significant, capable, and that I belonged. I will be open, confident, and secure in who I am.  Because of that, most people will respond positively to me so my beliefs about myself will be reinforced and my confidence will be a catalyst in doing well in school, sports and career.  I won’t be perfect, but I will have a foundation for believing that I matter and that I have worth.  Because of that, I will be able to give and receive love at a reasonable level and will have some resilience when I am criticized. In short I will believe that if others knew me, they would probably love or appreciate me.  I will also believe that God can love me.

On the other hand, if I am born into an environment of neglect, abuse, criticism, or perfectionism, I will typically feel that there something defective in me that others can’t love.  Why else would the people in my life treat me so badly? I will feel that I can never measure up and I will live with a sense of shame – a sense that there is something unacceptable about me.  I will expect rejection and will often act in ways that invite the rejection I fear.  I may be withdrawn or always critical of others as I try to level the playing field by bringing others down to my level. I may cover up with a false arrogance or bravado and may try to cover up my mistakes by always blaming others for my miscues.  Eventually, my behaviors will push people away and my negative self-image will be reinforced.  Ultimately, I will believe that if people really knew me, they would reject me. I will also doubt that God loves me.

My identity affects my emotional health, my performance, my relationships, and even my spiritual life.  My experience tells me that most of us live on the negative end of the self-esteem continuum and build all kinds of defense mechanisms into our lives to cover our sense of defectiveness. Remember, before sin, Adam and Eve felt no shame and walked in the Garden with God in an intimate relationship while naked.  But after their sin, they tried desperately to hide, cover up, and blame others for their own decision.   To Satan’s delight, shame had crept in. Adam and Eve no longer felt acceptable.  They felt fear for the first time…fear of rejection and fear of punishment.  Our own sense of defectiveness and rejection causes us to do the same things and we pay the price at every level.

Satan loves to reinforce our fear of unworthiness, insignificance, and rejection at every turn. Spirits of condemnation, rejection, and accusation move us to take offense easily at anything that has the slightest aroma of criticism. He tries hard to convince us that even God can’t love us and so we pray with little faith and even less expectation. We see ourselves as messed up and insignificant and cannot see ourselves doing anything great in the kingdom of God.

As a result, believers continue to be angry, depressed, easily offended, fearful, doubting and medicated even after they are saved.  I am convinced that many believers stay that way because they believe they are the same inadequate, broken, insignificant, defective person they always were except they are forgiven. It is not enough to know that we are forgiven, but we need to truly know that we are new creations with an amazing position in the kingdom of God. We will not be transformed until we believe who we are in Christ.  Next week, we will begin to consider who we are in Jesus in detail.  We will begin with the amazing fact that we are made in the image of God.  Blessings.