Many of us, at one time in our lives, have been part of a church where the accepted or expected practice was for individuals, marriages, and families to project an image of relational health and spirituality that approximated the Christian ideal.  The truth is that, behind closed doors, very few of those individuals or families were even close to the image they projected. In all fairness, they projected an image of loving spiritual maturity because they feared they would be rejected by their Christian community if they didn’t “have it all together.” I have to admit, in some churches that fear might have been a reality.  

The most broken people I know now grew up keeping “family secrets” from friends, teachers, pastors, etc. Abuse, alcoholism, molestation, rage, adultery, etc. lived behind closed doors and were protected by the silence of those who received the wounds as well as the perpetrators. The belief that I must be perfect in order to be loved, so I must keep my imperfections a secret, is crushing.  But before we are too harsh with these families, how many of us have our own secrets we do not share … unconfessed addictions, doubts about our faith, flirting at the office, or shameful episodes from our past that still haunt us?  The truth is, whatever we keep hidden in darkness has power over us because the devil uses against us.

Our fear of being judged and rejected is the very thing that often keeps us in bondage to the thing we won’t confess.  Whatever we won’t acknowledge and confess continues to grow in us like a seed that feeds on darkness. James tells us, “Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed^” (James 5:13-16).  

Not only physical healing but spiritual and emotional healinganger,  come through confession.  Confession of sin or weakness is simply choosing to be transparent with God, a mature believer, and even yourself.  It is simply agreeing with God about some part of your life that is misaligned with the Father’s will and acknowledging it to others.

Transparency allows healing for several reasons.  First of all, many illnesses – physical and emotional – are manifestations of demonic spirits.  It is amazing how many illnesses and infirmities in scripture were caused or, at least, maintained or amplified by unclean spirits. The list includes blindness, deafness, seizures, muteness, back problems, etc. All of those were healed immediately after a demon was cast out.  We also see individuals tormented by demons and the scriptures name spirits of fear, heaviness (depression), jealousy, confusion, and a host of other spirits that affect our emotions. If we have sin in our lives that we haven’t dealt with through the cross, then that sin gives the enemy a legal right to afflict us until we have confessed the sin and repented.  Transparency through confession enables us to rid ourselves of those demons.

Secondly, I believe that everyone’s deepest fear is the fear of being unloved, unwanted or unneeded.  We all fear rejection, which comes in many forms.  We believe rejection is a true evaluation of our worth, our goodness, or our competence. Of course, it isn’t, but we believe it is and Satan, the accuser, reinforces that belief at every opportunity. We avoid transparency because we fear that if others were aware of our shortcomings, they would no longer accept us or love us. The truth is that many of us have experienced the withdrawal of love because we didn’t live up to another person’s demands or unrealistic expectations.  We learn early to hide our failings or to blame others for them.  However, as long as we hide our failings, our fears, our weaknesses, or our sins we will never overcome them.

Paul told the church at Galatia, “Brethren, if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal.6:1-2).  The sense of “being caught in a trespass” is not that someone discovered another person’s secret sin, but that someone has been entrapped or overtaken by a sin or a weakness. 

The wisdom here is that we should confess our sins to the spiritually mature because they will not reject us and will maintain appropriate confidentiality.  The spiritually mature are all too aware of their own weaknesses and have long since stopped judging others.  They see themselves in a priestly role of hearing confession and dispensing grace to those who need it.  It is very healing to share your deepest shame with another person and discover they do not reject you but respond with love and compassion to your vulnerability.  The other hook in avoiding transparency in order to be loved, is that we never truly feel loved because we know they are loving a person we pretend to be rather than loving us as we are.  We still live with the fear that if they really knew us,they would reject us. 

Satan works in the dark.  When we hide our sins and our struggles, he will reinforce them and use them against us.  He will constantly blackmail us with the fear of discovery until we choose to bring our struggle into the light.  He then loses his power over us.  Both our acceptance by the spiritually mature and our choice to be transparent with our sins or weaknesses is healing.  I want to emphasize that ff you have something to confess, do so with people you can trust.  Ask around. People in a church tend to know who will dispense grace and healing rather than judgment.  It is usually those who have chosen transparency themselves about their own sin and brokenness.

A third transforming power in transparency is found in John’s first letter. “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 Jn.1:8-9).  The word translated as “purify” in this verse is a word that means to remove a stain from cloth.  Sin leaves a stain – a residue in our hearts, our minds, and even in our genetic makeup. I believe that as we confess our sin and receive God’s forgiveness, the Spirit of God gets busy scrubbing out the stain so that it loses its influence.  It no longer remains addictive and has less and less power to draw us back.  It loses its ability to produce shame in us and even the memories take on a different meaning for us. 

Confession or transparency also tends to broaden our own awareness of areas within us where the Spirit needs to do some work.  Just as important, sharing my fears and my failings with someone else is also an exercise in taking personal responsibility for my actions.  That is also a first giant step in spiritual maturity.

The decision to be transparent with someone is a powerful step toward freedom and healing. In many cases, God requires it. Transparency and acceptance have been the power and attraction of twelve step programs for decades and the church, in many places, could take a page from their playbook. 

As essential as transparency is, I will admit that not every environment is safe for us to be open about our struggles. Because of that, I suggest that you ask the Lord to lead you to a safe place. Some churches are very transparent because their leaders are transparent. Perfection isn’t required and if someone pretends to be perfect, they are not trusted in those churches. Small groups can be that place of safety.  If that is not available, ask around and find a spiritually mature person to mentor you. In that mentoring relationship you will find safety to be transparent.  Moments of transparency are transformative. Even Jesus, who was without sin, was transparent with his closest disciples. He didn’t try to be superman.  He acknowledged that he was tired. He expressed doubt and frustration at times. In the Garden, he shared that his soul was overcome with sorrow and dread and asked them to stay with him and pray.

We need people with whom we can be totally transparent.  It is healing and it is a significant door to freedom.  But I also believe that we should not live life as an open book because many people can’t be trusted with our openness.  The gospels tell us that Jesus wouldn’t entrust himself to men because he knew what was in their hearts.  But he was transparent with those closest to him. 

Our transparency must be guided by wisdom and not recklessness or a false sense of spirituality because we are totally open and totally frank.  Proverbs tells us to measure our words and speak them at just the right time and in just the right ways, rather than blurting out whatever comes to mind at any moment.  Having said that, however, we will not overcome some of our deepest wounds and most besetting sins until we own them and openly talk to someone about them. Commit to it and ask God to provide that moment and the people you need.  At this time of year, I would encourage  you to take that step in 2025. Don’t keep your struggles behind closed doors, so you will not still be in bondage to fear and shame when 2026 roles around.

[I apologize for the length of this blog, but, perhaps, it will make a good devotional read Christmas morning]

Christmas has arrived once again. As a pastor, I see many responses to the season. For some it raises treasured memories of traditional church plays filled with squirming children, bright trees surrounded by carefully selected presents, the warm aroma of favorite foods, and a familiar house filled with love. For others, it registers disappointment and memories of “not-so-good Christmases” stained by alcohol or emotionally toxic family members. For others, grief surfaces once again in a memory of making funeral plans for a loved one that pushed out the joy of Christmas that year and for several years to come. Others face sheer loneliness as they anticipate sitting in an empty house with no one present to share the day that should be about giving and receiving, loving and comforting, laughing and belonging.

As multilayered as Christmas can be, there is always the heart of the story that should encourage us and realign our perspectives, no matter what our situation might be.  Each year as I think about Christmas, the Lord simply reminds me of how costly the coming of Messiah was for him and those who were nearest to the incident. 

We tend to compartmentalize Christ’s sacrifice and suffering and attach it only to Easter – his arrest, his abuse, his crucifixion. We also tend to forget the pain of those who loved him most as they watched their son, their Rabbi, and their Messiah breathe what they thought was his last breath on a Roman cross. Passover and Easter certainly highlight the incredible cost of our salvation, but our salvation story not only ended that way, but actually began that way as well.

Christmas cards sanitize the story so that it might be almost unrecognizable to Mary and Joseph. Susan and I have already received a few with Mary and Joseph and Baby Jesus serenely surrounded by peaceful, adoring animals in a pristine manger along with appropriately awed shepherds and joyous angels. Typically, the scene may also present three royally adorned visitors from the east bearing precious gifts (although they did not actually arrive until months later). 

There is some truth in that scene, but it misses a salient point. The Christmas story begins with Gabriel appearing to Mary, a very young engaged Jewish girl, in the backwater town of Nazareth. Luke tells us that at his appearance, Mary was greatly troubled. The original Greek would amplify this word to mean confused, disoriented, and deeply disturbed or distressed. The angel greeted her first, but then added quickly, “Do not be afraid.” You don’t need to say that unless someone is visibly shaken and beginning to move towards the door.

Gabriel then tells her the Holy Spirit is about to fall on her, impregnate her, and she will have a son whom she is to name Jesus. He will be called the Son of the Most High and he will reign on David’s throne forever. That’s a lot to take in for a 13-year-old Jewish girl brought up simply, humbly, and traditionally. 

The true implications of what the angel had just said were probably not comprehensible…except the part where she would be pregnant without her marriage being consummated with Joseph, her fiancé. Surely her first thoughts were about the impossibility of telling Joseph and her family and the almost certain unlikelihood that anyone would believe her. Years later, a rumor would still persist that she had been impregnated by a Roman soldier…willingly or unwillingly.

The liability of being seen as an adulteress must also have loomed somewhere in the back of her mind. Adultery, in those days was, taken very seriously and was still punishable by stoning. In Jewish culture, her engagement was considered marriage, although the sexual union could not occur until after the ceremony. To break the engagement required a divorce. Apparently, her worst fears were realized because, when Joseph discovered she was pregnant, he decided to divorce her quietly to minimize everyone’s shame and for her safety.

Undoubtedly his heart was shattered by her perceived unfaithfulness and he carried as much shame in the tiny village of Nazareth as she did. Her story was unbelievable even to him…until an angel confirmed what she had been telling everyone.  Still, he had to wrestle with the possibility that he dreamed what he wanted to be true rather than having a genuine experience with an angel. These were real people. Trust would be an issue for a while

The story does not describe the family’s reaction to Mary’s pregnancy and her unbelievable story, but Mary and Joseph’s trip to Bethlehem may give us some insight. According to Luke, Caesar issued a decree for taxation that required the head of each household to register in certain cities. Joseph was a descendent of David whose lineage came from Bethlehem, so off they went on a ninety-mile trek with Mary late in her pregnancy. She was not required to go to Bethlehem. Joseph could have gone alone, but she went along anyway on a trip that may have put her at risk as well as the child.

To me, the only explanation is that she did not feel welcome in Nazareth, even by her own family, and the birth of her son would not be the joyous occasion she had always envisioned. She had also lost her dreams for a wedding feast with her proud family and friends and a wedding night in which she and Joseph would consummate their holy union. Joseph had given up any dreams he had been harboring as well. So…this teenage mother went with her husband to a place in which they were apparently unknown, only to discover, on top of everything else, that no lodging was available. Undoubtedly, this occurred in April or May, not December because the only times shepherds would have been in the fields at night with their sheep was during lambing season – the spring. But nights would still drop into the forty degree range.

Only a small barn or cave was available where she would have to make do with some fresh hay while being surrounded by the smell of animal urine, feces, and barn rats. No family members travelled with them to help with the birth. Apparently, no midwife was available in Bethlehem. Joseph and Mary must have felt somewhat abandoned by God and their families and must have felt very alone. They must have been wondering where the blessings were for their obedience because, day by day, things had not gotten better but worse.

Outside of Bethlehem, another disturbing scene was unfolding. In the middle of the night, shepherds, who were minding their own business, were suddenly confronted by extraterrestrial visitors…angels filling the sky. Luke simply says they were terrified. Of course, the angel said, “Do not be afraid” and eventually calmed their nerves with news that Messiah was being born to them and could be found in a stable in Bethlehem. Eventually that night, they found the stable and shared what they had seen and heard with Mary, who must have been exhausted.

Another hint about the atmosphere of shame, gossip, and suspicion back in Nazareth was that Joseph, Mary, and Jesus did not return to Nazareth after the birth. As far as we know, two sets of Jewish grandparents had yet to see their grandson. Matthew tells us of the Magi, wise men or astrologers from the east, who had followed the Star of Bethlehem to find this newborn King of the Jews. This was apparently 18-24 months after the birth of Jesus and they were still in Bethlehem. It looks as though Mary and Joseph had simply settled in there. 

These unexpected visitors from the east showed up unannounced and brought gifts of gold, myrrh, and frankincense to Jesus. Mary and Joseph must have been relieved to receive such a nest egg for the family and began to believe that, perhaps, peace and blessings were finally coming their way. Maybe he could expand his business or they could build a little house. But they immediately discovered that these were to be traveling expenses.

Herod, hearing from the Magi that a king was being born just seven miles from Bethlehem, determined to eliminate any threat to his own throne. Joseph and Mary were warned in a dream to flee the region and so suddenly became political refugees trying to find safety in Egypt. Herod, in order to secure his throne, simply had every male child under two years old in the vicinity killed that night – a night that became known in Jewish history as the Slaughter of the Innocents. That’s not something we see on Christmas cards. So, the Christmas story is not just a story of angelic visitations and good news, but also a story of fear, shame, rejection, loneliness, lost dreams, and a poor refugee family fleeing their homeland for several years to live once again among strangers where Hebrews had once been slaves.

If you read Isaiah 6, you will also perceive another cost that was incurred, even before the birth of the child.  In that text, Isaiah sees the Lord, high and lifted up, surrounded by his glory and angels that declared his holiness day after day.  John tells us that Isaiah was actually given a vision of Jesus (Jn.12:41) in his glory before surrendering the privileges of deity. At some point he stepped down from his throne, shed his glory and power, and shrunk down to the size of an ovum, only to grow helplessly in the womb of an impoverished teenager.  From there he would be born into a scandal and later deemed illegitimate by many – part of the reason those in Nazareth could never accept him as Messiah.  What cost did Jesus pay even before the cross and what cost did those pay who were near him…even in the beginning of God’s odyssey on earth?  

The ultimate price for our salvation was, of course, the cross. But there were significant payments all along the way that we should not forget.  This thought should not produce guilt in us, but wonder and rejoicing at the value God has placed on each of us.  

Salvation is a gift because we are saved by grace and by no works of our own.  But there is also the gift of knowing how much we are loved, how much we are valued by the Creator of heaven and earth, and how much we can value ourselves as well as all the others Jesus died for.  Be blessed this Christmas knowing that your greatest gift cannot be placed under a tree and that you were purchased at such a price.  Merry Christmas.

The most effective strategies of the enemy are subtle.  They can operate for long periods without being detected. Satan rarely shows up in extreme ways that might alert his target to his presence.  He is most effective when he takes his time and increases his influence incrementally. For instance, a spirit of heaviness does not oppress an individual suddenly…one day he feels great and the next he is so depressed he can’t leave his house.  Typically, a person will experience this spirit as just feeling discouraged or blue one day.   Maybe that feeling comes and goes over a period of weeks.  Then it becomes more frequent. Fatigue sets in.  Negative thoughts begin to dominate. That person now stays home on weekends instead of going to church. He still gets up and goes to work, but it takes effort.  He begins to isolate himself from people. The days seem dull and somewhat dark. Then some days that person feels so defeated he calls in sick.  He goes to a doctor and the doctor prescribes B12 or antidepressants. They help for a while but then the cloud returns. The onset has been so gradual that person thinks it is just life happening or just hormones.  After enough time passes, he can’t remember how he felt before he was depressed and somehow comes to believe this is what his life is going to be from now on.  He is being subjected to demonic oppression. It didn’t happen overnight, but over months.

Even believers who have experience with spiritual warfare may continue to look for solutions in the natural realm…medications, therapy, doctor after doctor before thinking there might be a spiritual root to the problem.  This thing has been so subtle and so gradual their demonic Geiger counter has not registered that they may be under attack.  Perhaps, the enemy himself keeps introducing thoughts that lead away from the possibility that the depression may be spiritually based.  Certainly, not everything is demonic, but much more is than we typically recognize. Paul declared that our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against spiritual powers of darkness in heavenly realms (Eph. 6:12).  Let me encourage you to consider demonic influence when things you know are not of God continue in your life without victory. Even if you are not certain a spirit is operating, command it to leave in the name of Jesus.  If no spirit is present, you have lost nothing, but sometimes we need to turn the rock over to see if a snake is lurking underneath.

One area we need to systematically cleanse from time to time is our home or offices or even our church buildings.  Demons are assigned to individuals but also to locations in which they influence the atmosphere.  They will tend to influence some people in the environment more than others. These spirits may create an atmosphere of anger, distrust, discouragement, sexual immorality, fear, and so forth.  Everyone who spends much time in that location can be affected. I know numerous people who have gone to their offices early and done “house cleansings,” because there was so much conflict and negativity pervading the office.  They reported immediate improvement in the atmosphere of the office.  I have seen families that have come to the point of physical conflict in their home have peace and cooperation restored immediately after a house cleansing. 

Demons typically gain some authority over a location because something has occurred in that building or on the property that gives them a legal right to operate there.   We have cleansed houses from spirits of adultery because adultery had been committed in the house.  Spirits of fear and violence may be present if there has been child abuse, elder abuse, spouse abuse or a murder in that location. Spirits of anger can be present when there has been persistent conflict in a location. Spirits of death often lurk where witchcraft has been practiced.  Spirits of infirmity can remain when there has been chronic illness in a place or a spirit of heaviness when exceptional grief or loss has persisted in a location. Objects in a house that represent witchcraft or false religions can also give spirits entrance. 

Perhaps, someone lived there or worked there previously who practiced witchcraft or abused a child or a spouse. Sometimes, people visit and bring spirits in with them that stay after the individual has left. Often, current residents of a location can’t identify anything that would give a spirit entrance because these demonic spirits were often present when new owners purchased a house, moved into a new apartment, or began renting office space. Their presence will continue to affect the people and the atmosphere in the location. I would encourage anyone to do regular house cleansings or office cleansings when possible…perhaps, every six months.  Even churches need cleansing because of sin that has occurred in the building or because witches have pronounced curses in the church. I am convinced some churches that once thrived but now struggle to keep their doors open are operating under a curse.  

In general, locations can be cleansed easily. Those who have authority over the location need to openly declare their faith in Jesus and dedicate the location and its contents to his service and Lordship.  They should then renounce any sins they are aware of in their own lives or that have occurred in that location and repent of them.  Otherwise, they can generally renounce any sin or wickedness that has occurred there. Then they can simply move throughout the location commanding any demonic or unclean spirits to leave the building and the property while commanding them never to return.  It is often helpful to anoint doorways and windows with olive oil as a way of marking territory that has been dedicated to Christ and sanctified by the Holy Spirit.  Any objects that represent sin, false gods, witchcraft or occult organizations should also be removed from the location.  It is that simple.

Satan loves to work in subtle ways so that we don’t detect his activity.  Our negative experiences just feel like life where goodness seems to ebb and flow. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you if demonic spirits are involved in any negative circumstances in your life, home, business, or church and then take action.  Ask others to join you in the cleansing.  If you know people who have a gift of spiritual discernment, they can be very helpful as they sense specific spirits that need to be dismissed.  You can then call out the spirit by name and command it to leave.  For whatever reason, these spirits seem to be more active during holidays than at any other time. It is likely that they prey on emotional wounds and family tensions that are more acute during the holidays than at other times.  If people are coming to your house that bring drama with them, you may want to do a “cleansing” before they arrive and even after they depart to clear the atmosphere of unwanted spirits.   I believe you will see a difference.

When family is unavailable, nothing highlights that empty place like the holidays when every movie and television show is marked by gatherings of friends and families sitting around a roaring fire or a large family table lined with happy people anticipating an amazing holiday meal together.  Some of the most poignant stories orbiting the Christmas season embody the return of a prodigal on Christmas Eve or the restoration of some long-lost relationship. Those stories seen to be the ones most filled with hope.

I think in our hearts we all long for reunion. Solomon said that God has placed eternity in each person’s heart.  Whether we recognize it or not, out on the edge of our consciousness, there always seems as if something is missing that we can’t quite put our finger on.  What we are missing is our home in heaven.  In quiet moments when we are alone, we all have a very vague or not so vague feeling that something is incomplete… as if we have been alienated from someone we love or from a place we belong. I believe that longing is God calling us home to our spiritual family where there will never again be a sense of loss or alienation or an empty place at the table.

Christmas reminds us that our Father in Heaven has made a way to gather us all back home. Without the birth of Jesus there would have been no sinless life, no sacrifice, no merciful high priest, and no resurrection.  There would be no hope.  But God came in search of us and Christmas heralds that truth every year. He came to gather us into a spiritual family that will last forever.  

Matthew records a moment when Jesus speaks about this reality. “While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.” He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are mybrothers?” Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother” (Matthew 12:46-13:1).  Our biological families are temporary unless they are all believers.  Our spiritual family, created in Jesus, will be eternal.  

The good news is that I can lose my entire biological family but still find another family in Christ that will never dissolve. Will it be a perfect family?  Heavens no! How boring would that be? On this side of eternity, we are all flesh and blood, weak and weary, and are all in a process of becoming like Jesus.  Even the best of families disappoint. Sometimes they fight. There are critical bossy sisters and annoying little brothers. In the best of families, siblings can be very different which often leads to misunderstandings. Communication is hard.  Problems aren’t always solved.  But what we hope for is that time and maturity will allow us to love one another and have each other’s backs when needed.  What we want is to gather for Christmas and feel safe and at home. Spiritual family is no different.  

What I hope is that if you have abandoned the “organized church” or stepped out during Covid and have not returned, you will choose to come home for the holidays and then continue to reconnect with your eternal family afterChristmas has passed.  I’m not sure it is okay with Jesus if you spurn his bride. I know many have church hurts so find another church. The idea of a walk with Christ that does not include other believers in a local church (big church or house church) is foreign to the scriptures.  How can we love one another, serve one another, encourage one another, pray for one another, or even forgive one another if we are not together.  Jesus died for the people you may be rejecting.  

You won’t find a perfect church because every human is imperfect.  All the churches that Paul, Peter, Luke, and John wrote to in the New Testament were filled with problems. What we find is a perfect Savior who is working in his imperfect church to make it better.  But the glory of the church is just that…God loving, saving and maturing people whose lives are a mess because the blood of his Son has covered their imperfections. God has gifted every believer and if you are missing from the ranks, the picture of Jesus presented by the church to the world will be incomplete.  The amazing synergism of God’s people working together will not bear the fruit it could have born. Without you being present and plugged in, the body of Christ will have to function without your assignment being fulfilled. 

As Christmas and the New Year approaches, I encourage you to reconnect, to reconcile, and to actively become part of your spiritual family again.  Don’t stay home. Don’t stay away. But come home for the holidays.  

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of allcomfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.  2 Corinthians 1:3-4

The holidays can be a wonderful season filled with good food, good memories, and the joy of family and friends.  They can also be a time of stark pain for those who have just lost loved ones or who have suffered some other trauma.  The holidays highlight life as it should be. But they also magnify the empty places around the table, the pain of a serious diagnosis, or the loss of a job when you could least afford it.

I have been part of many funerals that fell in November and December… just a few days ago a five-day old little girl. Unfortunately, the feelings of pain and sorrow will be anchored to holidays for years to come. With Silver Bells and Silent Night will also come painful memories and questions about what might have been.  

In those moments, the passage above can be enormously helpful.  We are reminded that God is a God of compassion and comfort.  Compassion means that he feels our pain. He feels with us. He has genuine empathy for what we are going through.  Perhaps, he put himself in our place as he watched his beloved Son ridiculed, spit upon, suffering, and nailed to a cross.  If we think God sat on his throne watching what was going on emotionally detached, we have missed the point entirely. I am convinced he suffered with his Son. Jesus wept at the grave of Lazarus, not because Lazarus was gone but because he felt the pain of those around him.  He is a God who can be touched by our pain.

The word translated “comfort” comes from the same word used to describe the Holy Spirit –  paraklete.  It is a word that means one who is called alongside to comfort, encourage, give solace, console, or alleviate sorrow. It is one who gives emotional support in times of loss or crisis. On dark nights we need a God of compassion and comfort.  Sometimes he shows up in the form of people who care about you so please don’t turn them away in your sorrow or isolate yourself.  Sometimes he shows up as the Holy Spirit speaks hope and comfort to your mind and heart.  When you are hurting…ask for God, look for God.  He is around you if you have eyes to see and ears to hear.  

Paul goes on to say that we are to comfort others with the comfort we have received.  I realized years ago that our healing is never complete until we help others heal. The thing that qualifies us for that ministry is our own suffering.  When real trauma visits us, we often ask “Why?” We wonder why God would allow such a thing in our lives or in the life of someone we love. We rarely get a clear answer to that question, but God does tell us how we can redeem the pain and give it meaning.  We do so by helping others through the same briar patch we just passed through ourselves.  

This holiday season may be a painful reminder to you of what you have lost…a loved one, a marriage, a career, your health, or your purpose. You may be a few years away from helping others. But the God of compassion and the God of all comfort, is nearby for scripture declares that God is close to the brokenhearted (Ps. 34:18). Lean on Him.  Go to church.  Call a friend who understands where you are at.   Don’t isolate yourself because that makes you an easy target for the enemy. There may be moments when you wonder if God actually loves you. He does, but most often he will love you through his people.  Plan ahead.  Put yourself in places where you can be encouraged and supported.  Most of all, cry out to God when the pain rushes in.  He is not detached and he is not far away.