Understanding Unforgiveness

Quote:  Refusing to forgive is like drinking poison, believing that it will make the other person sick. (Source unknown)

We often refuse to forgive and continue to hold onto our anger, resentment, and bitterness because it fulfills a function for us.  Typically, we haven’t consciously articulated its function, but nearly all persistent behavior continues because we believe it is in our best interest. At least, at an emotional level, our unforgiveness seems very justified in our own eyes.

Reasons for Holding on to Unforgiveness

• We may believe that unforgiveness will protect us from the perpetrator or others who would harm us since we will not let that person (or others) come close to us again as long as we are angry or bitter. Our unforgiveness is seen as a wall of protection.

• Our anger and resentment may make us feel justified as we place all the blame for what has happened on the hurtful person.  By doing so, we don’t have to examine ourselves or take any responsibility for the situation that resulted in our being hurt.  We may use blame and the resulting unforgiveness to justify ourselves, minimize our issues, or deny our contributions to the hurtful situation.

• We may believe that our anger and unforgiveness punishes the other person for what they did to us as we lash out or withhold loving behaviors from that person.  We believe the “punishment” we have chosen is a deterrent to that person hurting us again. We believe our continuing punishment will “force the other person to change.”

• We may believe that as long as we have not forgiven the hurtful person, God will not forgive that person and so justice will be accomplished.  We fear that if we forgive him/her, God will forgive that individual and he/she will never have to face the consequences of their evil acts.

• We may believe that forgiveness would send a message that what was done was not such a big deal after all. We believe our unforgiveness will send a clear message that the action on the part of the hurtful person was significant and unacceptable so that he won’t act in that way again.  It is our way of putting an exclamation point on our wounds.

The Faulty Thinking and Deception of Unforgiveness

1. Forgiveness does not mean that we must allow hurtful or evil people to keep hurting us. We can release a debt while also setting boundaries so that a hurtful person does not have free access to our lives any more.  We can keep them at bay with wisdom and healthy boundaries rather than with walls of anger and bitterness due to unforgiveness. For instance, you can cancel a debt out of mercy, but you do not have to loan money again to the same irresponsible person.  You can forgive without becoming an enabler of wrong behaviors. We can protect ourselves through wisdom rather than anger and bitterness.

2. We often contribute to situations that become hurtful.  By placing all the blame on the other person, we cannot learn, grow, or change in areas that would benefit us and those we love in the future.

3. Often, our anger and unforgiveness do not actually hurt or punish the other person. They may not care that we continue to hurt. They may actually take pleasure in seeing us act out our continuing pain as it still gives them power and control over us. In addition, they often use our continuing anger, rage, or punishing behaviors to justify their own  actions… “See why I had to leave her…she’s crazy!”

4. Our forgiveness or unforgiveness does not determine God’s response towards that person.  If the hurtful person has truly repented, then God forgives whether or not we do.  If that person hasn’t repented, then God will respond to him on the condition of his heart, even if we have forgiven.  Forgiving a hurtful person, does not get him or her off the hook with God.  It gets us off the hook.

5.   If we want people to know how deeply we have been hurt by what they have done, we should clearly tell them, rather than trying to communicate that through punishing behaviors.   
(Matt. 18: 15-17)

Reflection / Discussion

• Which of these reasons for unforgiveness have you ever used to justify continuing anger or resentment toward people in your life?
• What do you believe your continuing anger, bitterness, resentment and distrust cost you or is continuing to cost you in your emotional health, spiritual health, and relationships?
• Why do you think God wants you to forgive those who have wounded you?  What blessings can come to those who forgive?

Next Week:  God’s Purposes and Blessings in Your Life for Forgiveness

We have been talking about the necessity and the act of forgiveness in which we decide and declare that we freely release someone from their debt to us.  Forgiveness is also a process.  Our decision to forgive is an act of obedience to God. That first step of forgiveness is a decision of the will not of our emotions.  That step takes away the enemy’s legal right to afflict us.  

When Jesus tells us to love our enemies, he is not telling us to like them, approve of them, or have warm fuzzy feelings toward them.  He commands us to agape our enemies which means to “act in their best interest” or “to act in a redemptive way” toward them.  He is calling us to make decisions to act in the eternal best interest of our enemies, regardless of how we feel. That is a decision of the will because we have the capacity to choose our decisions, but not always our emotions.  

However, God does not leave it there. The second part of forgiveness is a process of bringing our emotions in line with our decision to release the judgment of the matter to God.  The key is found in Luke 6.  There Jesus says:

But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you. 

If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ lend to ‘sinners,’ expecting to be repaid in full. But love yourenemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your father is merciful. 

In this section of Luke’s gospel, Jesus reveals the real key to letting go of the past.  It is not enough to refrain from making others pay for what they did to us, we must also choose to do good, even while they are still doing harmful things to us.

Our emotions will only follow our decisions after some time has passed.  Typically, we will decide to no longer require payment for wrongs done to us, long before our emotions agree with that decision.  Our emotions will follow only after God’s Spirit has moved in our hearts, and after we have consistently chosen to act positively toward those who have hurt us.   We may have to recommit to the process on numerous occasions.  Our motivation is to duplicate in our own lives the mercy that has been extended to us by God.

As we choose to bless those who curse us, do good to those who did us harm, and pray for those who mistreat us, our hearts change.  All I can say is that when we are obedient in this matter, God does a work in our hearts.  As we are obedient, we begin to see the people who hurt us in a different light.  We remember that our struggle is not truly against flesh and blood (people) but against spiritual powers (the devil).  We begin to see their brokenness and the way the devil oppresses and uses them rather than seeing them as the true enemy.  

Praying for our enemies softens our hearts so that bitterness doesn’t take root. Doing good to them is participating in the triumph of good over evil and we draw closer to Jesus because we are being more like him.  Again, our prayers, blessings, and doing good may or may not bring about blessings for them, but they will definitely bring about good for us.

Anger, bitterness, and resentment limit our ability to give love and receive it from others.  Those negative emotions hinder our ability to trust and to draw near to others – even those we want to love.  They hinder our capacity for intimacy and often spill out on those we are closest to, which pushes them away and ultimately robs us of the love we desperately want..  Forgiveness truly frees us from the pain we carry from our past and the bondage we have to bitterness or the crippling fear of being hurt again.  

If that is so, why do so many believers hold onto unforgiveness even though we are commanded to forgive and even though we may understand the benefits at a rational level?  I believe that we hold onto unforgiveness because we believe it will protect us from being hurt again.  We hold on out of fear.  Next week we will look at the reasons we hold on and expose the deception in those strategies to keep us from further pain.

The Biblical Concept of Forgiveness

In Part 1 of this series, I mentioned that many followers of Jesus walk in unforgiveness towards those who wronged them in some way in their past.  They either are unaware of the command to forgive, misunderstand the nature of biblical forgiveness, or feel that their situation is the exception.  This is such a critical matter that I wanted to spend a few weeks clarifying this essential part of the believer’s life. 

As we consider what Jesus and the writers of the New Testament have to say about forgiveness, we learn that it is both an event and a process.  Many of the stories Jesus told to demonstrate the principle of forgiveness take the form of financial debts being owed and those debts being cancelled.  As an event, forgiveness is simply a decision of the will to forgive a debt.  It is a decision to no longer require payment for an actual wrong done to us as well as a decision to release the judgment of those who have wronged us to God.

In Matthew 18, Jesus paints a picture of the very nature of forgiveness as seen from the perspective of heaven. 

Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents‍ ‍was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. At this the servant fell on his knees before him. “Be patient with me,” he begged, “and I will pay back everything.” The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. ‍ He grabbed him and began to choke him. “Pay back what you owe me!” he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, “Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.”   But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 

When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. Then the master called the servant in. “You wicked servant,” he said, “I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.  (Matt. 18:21-35)

The core idea of forgiveness is to release a debt.  It is not an act that minimizes the debt, denies the debt, or excuses the one who owes the debt.  It recognizes that a debt beyond measure has been cancelled on our behalf, and so we must be willing to do the same for others…even when they have not repented or asked for our forgiveness.   

Forgiveness is not primarily a decision of the emotions.  Initially, we will likely still carry some measure of anger, feelings of betrayal and victimization. In spite of our feelings, forgiveness is a decision of the will to no longer act in ways that make the person who hurt you pay for what he or she did. We cannot command our emotions, but we can choose to act in certain ways or refrain from acting in certain ways by a decision of the will.  We can choose how we think about another person or what we say about another person, even if our emotions are not always aligned with those actions and thoughts.

Until we forgive, we often attempt to make these individuals “pay” through our hurtful behaviors, which may include …

1.   Angry outbursts directed at the hurtful person.

2.   Withdrawal of loving behaviors or interaction from the one we believe wronged us.

3.   Gossip or slander that attempts to damage the reputation and relationships of the “hurtful” person with family members, co-workers, church members, etc.

4.   Hurtful actions motivated by a desire for revenge in an attempt to “even the score.”

5.  Constantly bringing up a past wrong in an accusing way months and years after it happened.

6.  Praying against the person or speaking curses over him/her.

7.   Etc.

Again, the first step, which is an event, is to make a decision to release the debt owed to you.  That decision means you will no longer act in ways designed to make the other person pay for what he or she has done.  You do this as a decision and as a declaration that the debt is cancelled in the name of Jesus.  Doing so acknowledges your motivation for forgiving the debt and affirms what Jesus has done for you.  Along with this, you commit to no longer act in hurtful ways towards those who have hurt you.  

Paul spoke about this in his letter to the Romans.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.   Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.   On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.  Romans 12: 17-21

Notice that this section of scripture instructs us to act in loving or caring ways even towards “our enemies,” while assuring us that God will still deal with evil.  We simply turn judgment over to Him rather than acting as judges ourselves.  As we release judgment to God, we also release ourselves from the bitterness and anger we must keep alive as we try to punish those who wounded us.  

We may or may not overcome evil in the other person by our goodness or kindness, but we overcome the effects of evil in our own hearts by our forgiveness. As we forgive, we release the poison of our hurt and anger so that bitterness, self-pity, and vengeance do not take root in our own hearts.  That anger and bitterness will eventually spill over into our other relationships – even those that are important to us.

Many years ago, I counseled a woman who had been severely abused and terrorized by her ex-husband.  She had married again. She acknowledged that her second husband was a wonderful man, but she would fly into rages and cut him deeply with her words for seemingly no reason at all. The marriage was on the brink of collapse when she came to see me.  It didn’t take long to recognize that her problem was that she had not forgiven her first husband and was releasing her anger and bitterness toward him on her second husband on a daily basis. She quickly recognized what was happening, but couldn’t seem to help herself because she would not forgive her abusive husband.  Not only did she not want to forgive him, but declared in no uncertain terms, “I hope he burns in hell for what he did to me!”   There is a better ending that I swill tell you about later.  

There is always a blessing found in our obedience to God, even if it seems counterintuitive. Here is the blessing found in forgiving those who have wounded us.  Forgiveness releases us from our need to make the offending person pay their debt and allows us to lay aside the pain that we continue to keep alive as we constantly remember the hurt.  Until we forgive, we are tied to our past and tied to those who wounded us.  

In many ways, we continue to allow them to control us as our anger, bitterness, and desire for revenge tie us to them…even after their death.  We become prisoners of our own unforgiveness.  God wants to release us from that control by taking healing the hurt and presiding over the judgment of that wrong, so it no longer is a significant thread in our lives.  In many cases, forgiveness is for our benefit much more than for theirs.  Of course, it may open the door for reconciliation of a relationship, but even if it doesn’t, we can step into our future untethered to the past because we allow God to preside over the matter rather than us.  The first stage of forgiveness then is an event in which we choose to release the debt…not because our betrayers deserve it, but because the one who died for us, deserves it. 

Discussion / Reflection:  

Who are you still tied to in your past because you have not released the judgment and the matter to God?

How has your continuing bitterness and anger affected your happiness and important relationships through the years?

How would your life be better, if you never again had to think about the event or the person who wounded you?

How do you think your unforgiveness toward someone or even some organization has opened the door in your life for Satan to afflict and torment you?

How will you shut that door?

Next Week: The Process of Forgiveness

As Christians, I think that we often believe that other followers of Jesus understand the necessity to forgive those who have betrayed them and so they have actually done so.  However, every time we do a Freedom Weekend, I discover that many, many Christians have not forgiven those who have wronged them…even though God says he will not forgive our sins unless we forgive those who have wronged us.  Unforgiveness not only lets the devil in, but restricts the blessings and answered prayers that God desires to give us.

Any unforgiveness we carry, is always an open door for the enemy to disrupt our lives.  Because of that, I feel compelled to do a short series on forgiveness and the freedom we can find personally by obeying the Lord is this essential matter.  I want you to treat this as a kind of personal study and inventory of your own life regarding forgiveness.  You might even do a mini-study with a small group and explore some of the Discussion/Reflection questions about forgiveness with others. 

I have also discovered through the years that many believers are confused about biblical forgiveness. Sometimes we think we have forgiven someone when we haven’t and, at other times, we think we haven’t forgiven someone when, perhaps, we have.  Knowing the biblical definition of forgiveness and understanding why we sometimes choose not to forgive can be helpful in being obedient in this matter.  Practical steps in knowing how to move from bitterness to forgiveness can also be very helpful.  We will discuss all of this in the next few weeks on this blog. 

Freedom Through Forgiveness

The New Testament has a great deal to say about forgiveness.  The two following texts are a sample and should be very sobering to any of us who have been careless with forgiveness.

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.  Matthew 6:14-15

Then the master called the servant in. “You wicked servant,” he said, “I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” In anger, his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart. Matthew 18:32-35

Discussion / Reflection:  Spend some time responding personally to these questions or discussing them with a friend(s). 

• How would you define forgiveness?   
• Do you think it is fair for God to insist that you forgive people who have hurt you or keep hurting you? Why or why not?
• For you personally, why is it sometimes hard to forgive?
• Is there ever a time to withhold forgiveness?
• Does forgiving a person require that you let that person back in to your life?

God’s Way to Freedom

Christ doesn’t command us to do something that he himself has not done.  He commanded forgiveness as he taught the crowds in Palestine, but then gave us the ultimate example when he was hanging on a cross – having been unjustly accused, brutalized, and sentenced to death.

When they came to the place called the Skull, there they crucified him, along with the criminals-one on his right, the other on his left.  Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”  Luke 23:33-34

Notice that Jesus did not forgive Israel because the leaders had come to him asking for his forgiveness.  The leaders of the Jews felt totally justified in what they had done.  Yet Jesus forgave them and prayed for the Father to do the same.  That is the heart of God and so he calls on us to forgive others…not because they deserve it, but because He has done that for us.  The following scriptures reflect the biblical theme of forgiving those who have hurt us.

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. Matthew 6:12 

 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15 

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me?  Up to seven times?”  Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.   Matthew 18:21-22 

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.   Mark 11:25 

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.   Colossians  3:13-14 

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.   Luke 6:37 

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Matthew 7:1-2

Discussion / Reflection:  What is your emotional response to those commands?

For many of us who have been wounded and betrayed by others, we feel ourselves pushing back against God in this matter.  Something feels wrong about releasing people from the wrongs they have done.  When we think about forgiving, we feel vulnerable. We feel as if God is minimizing our pain or invalidating our suffering.  We feel as if justice has been ignored.  We are afraid that forgiveness will open the door to them hurting us again. But, a look at the biblical concept of forgiveness will help us see the wisdom and blessing that come to us through releasing the debt that these people owe us.

Next Week:  The Biblical Concept of Forgiveness

At my church in Midland/Odessa, we offer an eight-week class called Free Indeed and an all-day Saturday activation designed to heal wounds from the past and break bondage from the enemy.  The second week of the class is designed to teach us how to hear God.  We put that class upfront because much of our healing and much of our freedom depends on hearing God speak to us.

As you know, all things in the kingdom come to us by grace, but that grace is often activated by an expression of faith.  How often did Jesus say, “according to your faith”?  One of the verses that nearly every Christian knows is, “So then, faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God” (Rom.10:17).  Those who discipled me as a young Christian believed that verse meant that faith comes through Bible study.  Of course, Bible study is essential, but that would mean that faith comes from reading the word rather than hearing the word of God. 

Generally speaking, there are two Greek words that are translated “word’ in reference to a communication from God.  The first is logos.  It typically refers to the written word of God or the revealed word of God for all men – the scriptures. The second Greek word is rhema. Rhema is a fresh word of God for the moment for an individual or a church.  That expression or communication by God would be what we typically call a prophetic word for a person or a church or a word of knowledge in which the individual receives a revelation specific for himself or a situation he or she is dealing with. 

Interestingly, the Greek word in Romans 10:17, which declares that faith comes by hearing the word, is the word rhema.  Certainly, faith can and does come through reading the written word, since the word (logos) of God is active and living (Hebrews 4:12). But, in his letter to the Romans, Paul emphasizes the personal experience of hearing God speak to you as a major faith builder.

I still remember the first “prophetic word” ever spoken over me by a man I had never met and who knew nothing about me.  He referenced some experiences I had walked through in another church a year or two earlier.  He then spoke to some questions and personal conversations that my wife and I had talked about on the way to church that morning, and declared some of the things God was getting ready to do in my life.  The experience of hearing this man “read my mail” was amazing, but the greater impact on me was the confirmation that God truly was personally involved in my life and had actual feelings about the things that had happened to me.  My faith grew in that moment more than in years of Bible study and sermons. In many ways, logos teaches us about God, but rhema allows us to experience him.

Many of us have a general belief in the promises of God and a general belief that God loves us because he loves everyone.  Fewer of us actually believe that he is intimately involved in our lives and that his promises are for us personally, not just for the church as a whole.  When we begin to hear God, our view of him and ourselves changes.  Our faith becomes personal rather than general.

What we need to know is that God is speaking to us all the time in many different ways.  His goal is to develop an intimate relationship with us, so he reveals himself to us as a person who wants to build a friendship with us and even as a suitor wanting us to fall in love with him.  

When hearing God, we can make two mistakes.  The first is believing that God no longer speaks to his people except through the written word – which is what many churches teach.  If we believe that, then we will simply ignore his voice when we hear it or tune it out altogether. The second mistake is believing that God only speaks to us in one way, when he is actually revealing himself to us in many ways. 

Sometimes we hear the still small voice in our head and recognize it as something from the Father that the Holy Spirit is uploading spirit, into our conscious mind.  Occasionally, people still get to hear his audible voice.  At times, by his Spirit, he highlights a passage of scripture that takes hold if us and reveals a truth that changes us.  Sometimes he speaks to us through his people – the preacher, a group leader, a friend, an author,  a stranger, etc.  At other times, he reveals himself through his creation like an artist that has revealed his heart and his dreams in a painting.  He even reveals himself in the midst of terrible tragedy with a grace for the moment and a peace that passes understanding while we are sitting in a cold, sterile waiting room.  In a time of need, when we can feel as if God has abandoned us, he reveals his love through his people in every card, phone call, bouquet, and casserole that comes to our door in that time of need.  

When we recognize these rhema moments, it builds our faith … not just that God exists, but that he exists for us.  We discover, over and over, that he loves us personally and has a personal destiny in mind for each of just as any loving father would.  The average believer misses most of these communiques from heaven. Even those who believe God still speaks to us, may wonder why God hasn’t spoken to us lately because we tune into only one expression of himself to us.

We need to learn to recognize his voice and the revelation of himself to us on a daily basis – even an hourly basis.  We need to know that he is speaking, even when we don’t hear the small still voice or the thunder from heaven.  He shows himself to us in a sunrise, in a parking place when we need it, in a job that opened up for us, in a call from a friend, a dream at night, or another answered prayer.  These, and more, are all ways he is speaking to us. Listen for him, look for him, sense his quiet presence…and faith will grow.

Agreement is a significant issue in the realm of spiritual warfare.  There is an axiom that states, “Whatever or whomever you agree with, you empower.”  When Adam and Eve agreed with Satan in the Garden of Eden, their initial agreement gave him more influence and more power in their lives.  Their initial agreement ultimately led to being banished from the presence of God and turning over their dominion to Satan himself.

Satan’s initial premise was that God was not a generous god and did not have their best interest at heart.  Satan suggested that Elohim was withholding good things from them.  Satan posed the question, “Did God really say you must not eat from any tree in the Garden?” He knew better, but planted a seed suggesting that God might be withholding good things from them.  Once Eve joined the conversation, she began to lean into his premise.  After that, he gathered more agreement until they both ate from the tree and reaped the consequences of their agreement. 

Interestingly, when Eve responded to Satan, she altered God’s command.  She said, “God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die” (Gen. 3:3).  Satan then denied the truth of God’s word by declaring that they would not actually die, but would become as wise as God…the very thing God was withholding from them.

In his commands, God did not say they could not touch the fruit without the penalty of death. Not touching it seems like a wise precaution, but the fact is that Eve altered God’s command. She added to what he had said.  We must avoid altering his word, whether we are making things stricter than he intended or more lenient.  God is intentional in his wording, and we should be careful how we handle it.

To alter God’s word often brings us into agreement with Satan and, thus, gives him more power and influence in our lives. Sometimes we alter God’s word by misquoting what he said and sometimes we distort it by choosing a verse or two on a topic while avoiding the whole counsel of God on the subject. 

We live in a day when abundant liberties have been taken with the word of God.  There seems to be a prevalent view that God’s word should evolve with the culture.  In practical terms, it means that if culture thinks something is right or wrong, then any contradictory view in scripture can be discarded or explained away as being culturally specific (it was only wrong then because the people were not as informed as we are now) or unscientific (God really doesn’t know how genetics work and is certainly not as enlightened as our culture is today). 

One of Satan’s primary weapons is as old as the Garden.  He speaks a little truth while distorting the Word and that distortion leads people away from the absolute truth of God’s will bit by time.  After traveling down that road a few miles, we feel that we are free to determine which part of God’s word we want to obey and which part we want to discard. As we do so – whether individuals, churches, or a nation – we come into agreement with Satan and open the doors for his presence and his demons to operate within. 

God’s word is as eternal and unchanging as God himself.  We cannot disregard the Word or change it to fit current cultural values or politically correct positions without consequence.  

King Saul lost his reign because of his looseness with the commands of God. The prophet Samuel declared. “Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams. For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, he has rejected you as king” (1 Sam. 15:22-23).

If you read the story, Saul had obeyed part of what God commanded and disregarded the rest for reasons he thought were sufficient.  Interestingly, as Samuel challenged him on his disobedience, Saul kept insisting that he had done everything God had commanded.  Through a series of other indiscretions, Saul had opened himself up to deception by the enemy as he believed he was fully obeying God’s will, when any objective observer knew he had made serious departures from the commands of God.  Eventually, he lost his kingdom, the lives of his sons, and his own life because he distorted the Word of God while claiming to be faithful to it.  

We live in a day when we must examine what others are claiming to be the Word of God and be careful that we are not coming into agreement with Satan by coming in to agreement with culture and politics. Many are using bits and pieces of the Word to validate their own agendas rather than submitting their hearts and ways to God.

None of us have everything figured out, but the difference is in a heart that wants to obey the word of God at every turn and the heart that feels free to pick and choose the parts he or she wants to adhere to while ignoring the rest. Those who pick and choose will come into agreement with the enemy and find the power of Satan growing in their lives. Those who stay in agreement with God and his word will find the power and influence of the Holy Spirit growing in their lives.

This week we will conclude out discussion of ten indicators that you may be under spiritual attack.  

Indicator Nine

You are having unwelcome recurring or obsessive thoughts that do not dissipate, but rather, press in harder when you resist them.

Unwelcome thoughts pop into our conscious mind on a regular basis.  They may be thoughts of lust, revenge, anger, fear, self-loathing, judgments, bigotry, etc.  Some of those come from impressions made by the flesh or the world that bubble up into our conscious minds.  Some fly across the screen of our thoughts so quickly that we hardly notice.  Others drift by slowly until we notice them and say “No” to those thoughts with our mind or our heart.  As we do, they lose power and diminish in intensity.  When we declare the word of God over them, they tend to go away. 

There are other unwelcome thoughts, however, that are stronger and more intense, as if they are thoughts that have their own voice in our head.  As we resist these thoughts, they don’t diminish but actually press in harder – especially thoughts that create lust, bitterness, despair, self-destructive desires, or fear.  These thoughts have an obsessive quality and often have a component pushing us toward sinful or destructive actions.  These kinds of enduring thoughts indicate a demonic stronghold. Some believers find these thoughts to be so oppressive that they give in and cease to resist the thoughts because it takes so much energy to resist – even though they know the thoughts are destructive or perverse. 

Just trying to think something else will not overcome these thoughts because they have a demonic component. We must recognize the source, repent of our agreement with the thoughts, renounce the thoughts, and then command the spirit that is the source of the obsessive thinking to leave.  Remember, you cannot ask a spirit to leave or simply want it to leave…you must command it to leave.  Spirits of lust, pornography, sexual fantasy, perversion, fear, anxiety, suicide, rejection, condemnation, victimization, etc. are common.  If we think those thoughts simply belong to us, we will typically condemn ourselves for having the thoughts, which gives the enemy even more power over us.  Just trying to deal with the thought without going after the demon, is like treating symptoms without dealing with the cause.

Indicator Ten

 You simply sense that something demonic has attached itself to you.  Don’t simply dismiss that feeling or possibility.

Most people have no idea that they are under demonic attack, but there are also numerous individuals who sense that something beyond themselves is affecting them.  Maybe the Holy Spirit points out what is happening or the thoughts take on the form of “you are….” rather than “I am…” and that feels like something beyond the individual is in play. 

If we have been taught that Christians cannot be demonized, then we will dismiss the idea as irrational or unbiblical. The truth is that you can’t always know, but there is no harm in “covering that base” to see if a demonic spirit is involved. 

It is often wise to get others involved in commanding a spirit rather than trying self-deliverance.  When you are uncertain about the presence of a demon, command it to manifest and show itself.  Forbid it to hide or remain silent and continue to command it to reveal its presence.  If a spirit is present, the person should feel it manifest in their body or it can be seen in the eyes of the individual, or it will “speak” to the person as a thought.  If the spirit reveals its presence, go after it until it leaves. If no spirit manifests, then get busy working on your thought life or seeking more healing for past wounds.

When any of these ten indicators are present and persistent, you should suspect that you are under demonic attack.  When you sense an attack, take action. 

• Have others stand and pray with you.  See Ecc.4:12 / Lev.26:7-8 / Matt. 18:19 / James 5:16
• Ask the Holy Spirit if there are any open doors in your life that are giving the enemy a legal right to afflict you.
• Take an inventory of how you are spending your time, what you are listening to or watching on television, or who you are spending time with that may be infecting you with fear, doubt, cynicism, or condemnation. 
• Be aware that there may be individuals directing curses at you.  If you sense that, break and nullify those curses by the authority of Jesus Christ.
• Remember that you have been made to outlast the storm because you are more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus.
• Remember who you are in Jesus. Return to confessing your identity in Him.
• Begin to confess victory again and declare the word of God (the sword of the Spirit) over your life.
• Exercise your authority over demons and circumstances (Luke 10:19).  If you don’t know how, find someone who does.
• Get mad at the devil not at God.  God’s plan is to bless you while the enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy.

I hope this series on Indicators has been helpful. If this is an area in which you have little experience or theological grounding, I would encourage you to get my book, Born to Be Free, published by Morgan & James. You can find it on Amazon and I think it will be helpful.  

This week we will continue to discuss indicators that you may be under spiritual attack.  

Indicator Six

Old sins and temptations begin to surface again that you have not had to deal with for months or years.  The enemy will attack old places of vulnerability first.

A common experience for believers is a season of victory over sin and even thoughts about those sins, followed by the resurgence of recurring thoughts about the issues they have had victory over.  In other words, temptations that have faded away for months or even years suddenly return. The enemy will often return to test those places in your life for vulnerability. Those temptations might be to return to pornography, shopping binges, resentment or anger towards another person, thoughts about calling old friends that you know would draw you away from the Lord, etc.

When temptations suddenly recur and refuse to fade away when you resist the thoughts, demonic attack is indicated.  Our first thought is usually, “What’s wrong with me that I’m thinking that again?”  These should be treated first as demonic intrusions into our thought life.  We should first assess whether or not we have become careless in our actions and thought life regarding old areas of sin.  If so, we should confess that carelessness and shore up those areas with prayer and some kind of accountability.

Secondly, we need to recognize that many sins that have addictive components are simply ways we medicate old wounds or areas of emotional need.  We can ask the Lord to continue to heal those wounds or meet emotional needs in godly ways.   We can then bind and command any spirit that is indicated by the temptation coming our way. 

Indicator Seven

You find yourself pulling away from godly people in your life and feel drawn to people who aren’t committed to Jesus or old friends who are not believers.  You find yourself becoming cynical and critical of the church and you are having thoughts that life before Jesus was better.

Anyone who came to Christ after a life of sin as a teen or adult may experience these temptations. These kinds of thoughts can originate from a spirit of anti-Christ or a spirit of error that inserts doubts about the truth of God’s word or truths about Jesus.  Influence from cults, nEastern, or new age philosophies may also fuel those doubts.  

A spirit of condemnation or unworthiness may also work towards making us feel unworthy and disqualified to serve God and receive his blessings. The thought that “even God can’t love me” will often drive us back to old friends and old ways when that spirit convinces us that we will find love and acceptance there.   When these spirits attack, we need to fight them with the Word of God, call them liars, and command them to be silent and leave. We need to draw close to Christian friends and spiritual family during these times of attack as well, 

Indicator Eight

You find yourself being drawn to things of the world more than things of the kingdom…not things that are sinful in themselves, but sports, recreation, travel, hobbies, family activities, etc. so that those things are getting much more time and attention than the Lord.

 Believers must always be aware of distractions.  Satan loves to fill our lives with distractions and “good things” that we would never define as sin.  Americans, especially, are in love with busyness.  We seem to find our significance in the abundance of our activities and we have imparted that value to our children.  There was a time when schools and little league would schedule no games on Sundays or Wednesdays because those were traditional times for church.  Now many families are only seasonally active in churches.  They may be gone weekend after weekend in the name of family time at the lake, sports, and other extracurricular activities for their kids.  Careers and career development can easily take precedence over the things of God.  Our goals of close families, children feeling loved, and financial security are worthy goals, but Jesus said we must love him more than family or possessions if we are to be his disciples.

Because family togetherness and financial security are “good,” we would never define what we are doing as sin. Yet there is a sense in which we can put these things before our relationship with God or serving in the Kingdom and so these activities and our busyness can become idols.  Spirits of distraction, idolatry, materialism, etc. will help us define these distractions as good and even godly.  We need to keep an eye on the busyness and distractions in our lives and prayerfully assess what is godly and what is not.   Any kind of idolatry is a very wide open door for the enemy to camp out in our souls and a trigger for curses to be released over our lives.

Final Indicators Next Week

We are continuing a discussion of indicators that we may be under spiritual attack.  As believers, we are always subject to temptation by the enemy.  But there are also times when demonic spirits get an assignment to afflict or oppress us.  If we don’t recognize the strategies of the enemy, we may not engage the enemy directly with the divine weapons God has provided for us and the attack may continue for a very prolonged season.  So, let’s continue to look at the indicators.

Indicator Three

You are experiencing a “lack attack” in which everything is breaking down at once, one thing after another is failing, unexpected expenses keep draining your accounts, you experience a very unexpected job loss, etc.  

Again, these kinds of experiences are often just “life happening to us.”  But prolonged financial challenges when you are managing your finances in a reasonable way may indicate that something more is going on.  

In Deuteronomy 28:28-44, financial lack, poor harvests, others getting promotions instead of you – even though you are working hard, etc. are characteristics of a curse. The first thing you may need to assess is whether or not something in your life or family line has given Satan some authority to afflict you.  Unrepented sin in your life or the lives of your ancestors may be giving the enemy that authority.  In Malachi 3, God releases a curse on Israel for not tithing or for not honoring God with their finances.  If you have lacked integrity in any financial or business dealings or have had ancestors who have cheated people out of money, you may need to repent on their behalf or for your own failings, even if those were years ago.  

If you have spoken poverty or financial failure over yourself, you may need to renounce those words and begin to declare the blessings of God over your wealth.  We don’t all need to drive Mercedes and live in huge homes, but poverty and lack is not God’s intention for his people.  He wants us to have enough to meet the needs of our family and to have more than enough so that we can give to the kingdom and help the poor. Prolonged lack may take some prayer, fasting, the breaking of curses,  commanding the enemy and declaring the blessings of God over us.

Indicator Four

You experience constant disruptions and distractions when you try to pray or read the Word.  You are having recurring thoughts that you do not welcome.

There are spirits that love to distract you and keep you from quality time in the Word or quality time with the Lord.  Spirits of stupor will cause you to become very drowsy every time you try to read or pray.  Spirits of error and spirits of anti-Christ will argue against the truths you are reading and try to introduce doubt into your faith.  Spirits of sexual immorality or sexual fantasies may inject unclean thoughts into your imagination so that your time with God seems defiled and so on.  If you are getting enough sleep, Treat the fatigue and drowsiness as a spirit and command it to leave.  Do the same with other unwelcome thoughts that you did not invite onto the screen of your imagination.

Indicator Five

You are in a prolonged season of feeling overwhelmed by your circumstances and feelings of hopelessness are beginning to creep in.

Discouragement and despair are some of Satan’s greatest weapons against God’s people.  Isaiah speaks of a spirit of heaviness or despair that can come on God’s people (Isa.61:3).  It comes typically when we are tired or weary after facing circumstances that are emotionally draining.  Immediately after Elijah’s great victory over the prophets of Baal on Mt. Carmel, he was threatened by Jezebel and quickly succumbed to depression and despair. The enemy clearly took advantage of  his being emotionally and spiritually depleted after a day of battle.  

When we have been facing a challenging season, the enemy whispers that things will never change or that life no longer holds any promise for you. He reminds you constantly of your limitations and whispers that God’s promises are empty or, at least, empty for you.  Often, he will whisper that you don’t measure up and that all you have done in your life or ministry counts for nothing. His goal is to get you to give in and give up. 

During these times, praise and thanksgiving are important weapons to use against the enemy.  Choose to believe in spite of your emotions.  Find a promise that addresses your discouragement and begin to declare it over yourself, your family, or your circumstances. Remember who you are in Christ and declare that truth against the enemy as well as commanding spirits of despair, discouragement and even fear to leave. You cannot be passive but must take the initiative against the enemy.  Get help from those versed in spiritual warfare if you feel like you are too depleted to fight.

More Indicators Next Week

I posted a version of this topic a few months ago, but felt prompted to bring it back with some additions and some discussion that I believe will be helpful.  In order to do that, I will present this as a series of blogs rather than just one.  Some of these thoughts were framed from an excellent article by Jentzen Franklin, while much of it will be my own thoughts and observations.

Clearly, not every obstacle in life is a demonic attack.  Jesus said that in this world we will have trouble.  Many of our troubles are just the consequence of living in a fallen world in which we will face hard circumstances that we simply have to deal with or outlast.  However, Paul also said that we should not be unaware of the devil’s schemes and that our real struggle is not against flesh and blood but the spiritual powers of darkness.

There are times when demonic forces are actively attacking us and divine weapons will have to be employed to overcome those forces.  This series will present ten indicators that you or others you know and love may be under spiritual attack, if these conditions are prolonged.   Being passive will not get you the freedom or victory you need. Even prayer alone may not be enough because we have been ordained to trample on snakes and scorpions (demons) and to overcome all the power of the enemy (Luke 10:19). We are called to heal and cast out demons not just pray about it, so many times we must take the fight directly to the enemy if we want victory.

At times, we will not be sure whether or not we are facing a spiritual attack. The devil is most effective when spiritual attacks come on us slowly so that we begin to feel that the oppression or affliction we are experiencing is simply a natural condition. If we were to experience these things suddenly, we would probably see them as the spiritual attacks they are.  But when these things creep up on us over a period of months, we begin to think it is just our “new normal” and begin to simply live with it rather than fight it.  We should pause from time to time to evaluate the challenges in our lives to see if we simply need to endure something for a season or go face-to-face with the enemy.  The following indicators may help you with that evaluation.  These indicators are not arranged in any particular order of importance.

Indicator One

Your spiritual passion and desires have subsided.  You find yourself without the desire to read the Word, pray, worship, attend church, or even serve in your calling without any apparent reason.  You are marked by apathy and indifference and can’t seem to shake it.

We all go through seasons of depleted passion, burnout, and distractions.  But if the season drags into months rather than weeks, you may be under attack.  There are a number of spirits that can attach themselves to us in order to drain our energy, passion, and commitment.  Spirits of stupor, discouragement, fatigue, or heaviness can affect us physically or whisper thoughts that all our efforts have accomplished nothing or that our prayers make no difference.  Sometimes the enemy discourages us through others, who judge us and criticize us so that we feel condemned and begin to doubt ourselves. When we find ourselves in this place, we need to begin to rebuke the enemy and command him to take his hands off of us. In the name of Jesus we should cancel any assignment of the enemy against us and command any unclean spirit to leave and never return. If we feel that we cannot muster the faith or the righteous anger to stand against the enemy, then we should ask others to command the enemy on our behalf. 

Indicator Two

You are experiencing a season of physical and emotional exhaustion, even though you are being reasonably responsible with your health.   Maybe you are experiencing lingering illnesses that are not clearly diagnosed and for which treatments have not been affective.  Perhaps, you get treatment, feel better for a while, but then revert back to the symptoms you have been dealing with.

In the gospels, men and women were often afflicted by spirits of infirmity that mimicked real diseases and conditions and gave life to those things while attached to the person. Blindness, deafness, muteness, seizures, back trouble, etc.  were all dismissed and the person healed through deliverance.  Others with the same symptoms were healed from physiological conditions or disease, but it seems that nearly as many were afflicted by a spirit of infirmity.  No treatment will bring lasting healing as long as the spirit is present.   If there have been traumatic injuries from violence, abuse, a car wreck, etc., sometimes spirits of trauma settle into the wound or injury and keep in from healing correctly as well. It is always wise to command a spirit of infirmity to depart whenever there is an illness or infirmity in a person.  Sometimes, we cannot be certain if a spirit is operating, but it is wise simply to cover that base to see if any spirit is present. 

More Indicators Next Week