God has a heart for reconciliation. The word doesn’t appear that often in scripture, but when it does it is profound.
For if, when we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. Romans 5:10-11.
His purpose was to create in himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace, and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit. Ephesians 2:15-18
All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God… 2 Corinthians 5:18-20
To reconcile means to restore a relationship by recreating a state of harmony that existed before. Jesus died that we might be reconciled to God. In order for reconciliation to be on the table, we had to have once been in a state of harmony with God and then that state had to be ruptured so we were then alienated. This, of course, takes us back to the Garden when Adam and Eve were in a perfect relationship with God until sin caused Adam and Eve to be driven from the Garden and from the physical presence of God.
Suddenly, in an act of rebellion, man found himself at odds with God. Where intimacy and peace had reigned before…tension, animosity, distrust, distance, and alienation became the norm in man’s relationship with God. Like the prodigal son, we turned our backs on the goodness of our Father and chose to go our own way, even to the point off denying the existence of God or giving our hearts to other “gods.” God didn’t leave us, we left him. He had every right to write us off and never give us another thought, but our God has persistently pursued reconciliation with us even at the cost of his Son. It is the nature if God to reconcile if at all possible.
God hates division. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, gentleness, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Those qualities are the fruit of the Spirit that arise from the nature of God. It is his desire that our relationship with him reflect those qualities. It is also his desire that those qualities reflect our relationships with other people. God is always working toward reconciliation and restoration of relationships. He is serious about us doing the same.
since Covid, we have had a noticeable uptick in funerals in our community…many of them for relatively young people. But what I have noticed is how many have died alienated from those they should be closest to.
Some have been suicides, others overdoses, others “wildfire” cancers in relatively young men and women that took them in weeks or few months rather than years, others car wrecks, and so forth. All unexpected. When death has come, and reconciliation has not occurred, it leaves the survivors with guilt, regret, and anger as well as grief. That is not God’s will for his people.
Jesus taught, “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” (Mt.5:21-24).
Notice that God is so concerned about us reconciling our differences with others that he instructed us to reconcile our relationships before even attempting to worship. If our hearts are full of unforgiveness, bitterness, anger, blaming, or pride, it will hinder our prayers and our worship. He instructs us to make every effort to reconcile damaged relationships as a top priority in life. We cannot control how the other person responds to our efforts to restore harmony to the relationship, but God wants to make sure that we have made a genuine effort to do so.
God wants us to extend to others what he has extended us. He has offered peace and reconciliation to us through his Son and wants us to have the same heart toward those who have wounded us. He also wants what is best for us and will bring the greatest blessing. As I have watched the tears roll and seen the regret at numerous funerals where alienated family members never resolved their relationship, I know however much effort it took to reconcile would have been worth it. If we are going to be godly or godlike, we must be reconcilers. It is much easier to do that at the beginning of a hurt rather than after years of resentment and bitterness. Let me encourage you. If you have broken relationships and have not tried in good faith to reconcile, do so. It is God’s will for you and you will be blessed because of it. Pray for wisdom, pray for courage, pray for peace and reach out.