As Christians, I think that we often believe that other followers of Jesus understand the necessity to forgive those who have betrayed them and so they have actually done so.  However, every time we do a Freedom Weekend, I discover that many, many Christians have not forgiven those who have wronged them…even though God says he will not forgive our sins unless we forgive those who have wronged us.  Unforgiveness not only lets the devil in, but restricts the blessings and answered prayers that God desires to give us.

Any unforgiveness we carry, is always an open door for the enemy to disrupt our lives.  Because of that, I feel compelled to do a short series on forgiveness and the freedom we can find personally by obeying the Lord is this essential matter.  I want you to treat this as a kind of personal study and inventory of your own life regarding forgiveness.  You might even do a mini-study with a small group and explore some of the Discussion/Reflection questions about forgiveness with others. 

I have also discovered through the years that many believers are confused about biblical forgiveness. Sometimes we think we have forgiven someone when we haven’t and, at other times, we think we haven’t forgiven someone when, perhaps, we have.  Knowing the biblical definition of forgiveness and understanding why we sometimes choose not to forgive can be helpful in being obedient in this matter.  Practical steps in knowing how to move from bitterness to forgiveness can also be very helpful.  We will discuss all of this in the next few weeks on this blog. 

Freedom Through Forgiveness

The New Testament has a great deal to say about forgiveness.  The two following texts are a sample and should be very sobering to any of us who have been careless with forgiveness.

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.  Matthew 6:14-15

Then the master called the servant in. “You wicked servant,” he said, “I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?” In anger, his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart. Matthew 18:32-35

Discussion / Reflection:  Spend some time responding personally to these questions or discussing them with a friend(s). 

• How would you define forgiveness?   
• Do you think it is fair for God to insist that you forgive people who have hurt you or keep hurting you? Why or why not?
• For you personally, why is it sometimes hard to forgive?
• Is there ever a time to withhold forgiveness?
• Does forgiving a person require that you let that person back in to your life?

God’s Way to Freedom

Christ doesn’t command us to do something that he himself has not done.  He commanded forgiveness as he taught the crowds in Palestine, but then gave us the ultimate example when he was hanging on a cross – having been unjustly accused, brutalized, and sentenced to death.

When they came to the place called the Skull, there they crucified him, along with the criminals-one on his right, the other on his left.  Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”  Luke 23:33-34

Notice that Jesus did not forgive Israel because the leaders had come to him asking for his forgiveness.  The leaders of the Jews felt totally justified in what they had done.  Yet Jesus forgave them and prayed for the Father to do the same.  That is the heart of God and so he calls on us to forgive others…not because they deserve it, but because He has done that for us.  The following scriptures reflect the biblical theme of forgiving those who have hurt us.

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. Matthew 6:12 

 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15 

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me?  Up to seven times?”  Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.   Matthew 18:21-22 

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.   Mark 11:25 

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.   Colossians  3:13-14 

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.   Luke 6:37 

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Matthew 7:1-2

Discussion / Reflection:  What is your emotional response to those commands?

For many of us who have been wounded and betrayed by others, we feel ourselves pushing back against God in this matter.  Something feels wrong about releasing people from the wrongs they have done.  When we think about forgiving, we feel vulnerable. We feel as if God is minimizing our pain or invalidating our suffering.  We feel as if justice has been ignored.  We are afraid that forgiveness will open the door to them hurting us again. But, a look at the biblical concept of forgiveness will help us see the wisdom and blessing that come to us through releasing the debt that these people owe us.

Next Week:  The Biblical Concept of Forgiveness

How often do we hear the word “deserve” used in our culture and, especially, on television ad campaigns?  “Get all the benefits you deserve.”  “Find all the happiness you deserve.” “Finally, you can live in that dream house you deserve!”  There are times when we definitely deserve some things because we have earned them.  If you put in the hours at work and do the job, you deserve to be paid.  If you have poured out the sweat to learn a craft, develop a skill, or become the best in a certain field you merit some recognition.  However, in our entitlement culture of participation trophies and no criticisms or rebukes, too many of us feel we deserve only good things and positive outcomes,  simply because we exist.

There are numerous dangers attached to that mindset, but the spiritual dangers are immense.  The moment I begin to believe that I am simply entitled to everything that others have, I feel cheated and victimized when I don’t have the possessions, the position, or the recognition of those around me.  Any rebuke, criticism, or discipline that comes my way is met with my anger and my demands that you or life has been unfair to me. What I am finding is that the entitlement mindset in our culture is creating an anger towards God because we think he hasn’t given us everything we desire and deserve.

That mindset eventually robs us of a heart of thankfulness and gratitude, which is a key to spiritual life and even spiritual warfare.  Paul taught the Philippians, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil.4:6-7).  Peace in our hearts is a quality that keeps Satan at bay. 

Thanksgiving places the emphasis on the goodness and generosity of God rather my own entitlement. My assurance in the goodness of God, despite my circumstances, leads to peace and peace guards my heart. The belief that I should always have what others have, with no effort on my part, and that I am not loved unless I get everything I want, breeds a life of envy and jealousy.  It robs a man or woman of contentment and is an open door for the enemy.

One of the key lessons to life and maturity is to understand Paul’s admonition to the Galatians. “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest” (Gal.6:7). God has established a principle that we harvest what we plant in this life…both in the natural realm and the spiritual realm.  A harvest requires personal investment, work, effort, patience, and faith.   Any other view is deception. Certainly, gifts come to us that we did not earn, but those are the exception in life rather than the rule.  Our salvation is a gift from God, not something we could earn, but kingdom rewards come as a result of our faithful service to the King and our patient pursuit of His kingdom.  

For our children who have developed an entitlement mentality through our desire to give them everything they want when they want it, along with status and recognition they have not earned through effort, life is going to be a series of disappointments that they blame on everyone but themselves – including God.  The belief that they deserve all the perks of life and the blessings of the Kingdom without real effort on their part, is going to shortchange them in the long run and leave them empty and bitter. They will eventually feel cheated by life and eventually feel victimized by everyone and every circumstance. 

What we need to understand is that the only thing any of us truly deserve is eternity in hell.  Everything else should be considered a gift for which we are truly thankful even when it took effort on our part to receive it. Our focus must remain on what we have rather than what we don’t have.  What God has done for us, rather than something he hasn’t yet done for us. 

Paul spoke about the fact that he had learned the secret of contentment in every circumstance – when he had plenty and when he had little. The secret was his faith in the goodness and sovereignty of God.  He believed in every circumstance, what he had was designed by God to bring out the best in him and to produce the greatest harvest through him.  Even when he suffered, he believed there was some significant purpose that redeemed the suffering.  He never questioned God’s love when he didn’t have the position, possessions, or recognition “he deserved.”  He was simply thankful for what he did have – especially eternal life.  That needs to be our perspective on life and entitlement as well, and we need to teach that to our children.