As we push into 2023, I think it is helpful to be reminded of truths and commands, about which, we often become careless. Ephesians contains one of those simple verses that says so much when we actually dig down into it. That verse is Ephesians 4:29 which says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Sometimes, the danger of reading modern translations is that we understand the text according to our current, cultural meaning of a word. For instance, when I read the phrase “unwholesome talk” in the NIV, I immediately think about cussing or sexually explicit language. If I don’t cuss or use obscene language, I may check the box and move on. However, that is not what the original language means. Paul talks about those issues in Ephesians 5:3-4, but not in Ephesians 4:29.
So, what does Paul mean by “unwholesome talk?” The word in the original language is sapros. It means rotten, putrid, rancid, decaying, things that lead to death, harmful, hurtful etc. In his letter, Paul is forbidding language that imparts death, decay, weakness, emotional or spiritual harm to another person.
We know that the tongue has “the power of life or death” (Prov. 8:21). Our words have impact and even spiritual power to produce good or harm, life or death, health or sickness. Because we walk in the authority of Jesus Christ, our words also carry authority. When Jesus spoke healing over others, they were healed. When he spoke life over the dead, they were resurrected. When he spoke to the storm it was silenced. When he commanded demons, they left. When he cursed the fig tree, it died immediately (Matt.21:19). All of those things were accomplished when Jesus spoke words. His words had authority and power. Our words do as well. I believe the words of all men and women have some authority because God gave mankind dominion over the earth. The Psalmist declared, “The highest heavens belong to the Lord, but the earth he has given to man” (Ps. 115:16).
The words of believers have even more authority because we represent the King. Like it or not, we speak for him. Remember, Jesus said that those who have faith in him would do all that he did and even more (Jn. 14:12). We could not do those things unless our words and commands carry power and authority. The Hebrews believed that words possessed spiritual energy that went forth and, like Elohim speaking the universe into existence, had power to create something that did not exist before. Words are the basis of blessing and cursing. When spoken, they activate forces in the spiritual realm to either bring life or death to a person or situation.
Unwholesome words impart death and decay like curses. They may be in the form of constant criticism, telling someone that they are worthless, declaring that a child is stupid or will never amount to anything, or any words that demean, dismiss, or suggest that someone is unimportant and useless. I noticed early in my life that men, especially, use demeaning humor towards one another as a kind of self-promotion that declares “I am always superior to you and you are always inferior to me.” Of course, we laugh at the “put downs” or the sarcasm, but for those of us who have already received a barrage of words undercutting our sense of value and significance, even the jokes burn. A Greek philosopher once wrote, “The boys throw the sticks in jest, but the frogs die in earnest.” In other words, we may mean no harm, but harm may be done anyway. Unintended consequences are still consequences.
Our careless words can be like those sticks. Our mean words, can be like stones. Each word carries power and pushes a person either towards life or death. If we are prone to speak words that undermine health, joy, self-esteem, confidence, security, etc. over others or ourselves, Paul would call us to repent and begin to speak only words that encourage, build up, affirm, and bless. We can curse without cussing. I know many believers who do so in their marriage, over their children, over their spiritual leaders, over our national leaders, and so forth. At times, I catch myself doing that. Social media is a reservoir of curses. We all can fall into that trap when we forget who we are.
Jesus said that on the day of Judgment, each of us will have to give account for every careless word we have spoken (Matt. 12:36). It is not that we can never point out a fault or a flaw in another person, but we must determine how to speak the truth in love at just the right time rather than in a fit of anger as we assault their worth. Ask the Holy Spirit to highlight any tendencies you have to speak negatively over others or yourself. It is not just that we hurt someone’s feelings or damage their self-esteem. That is serious enough, but because we have authority, the spiritual realm will take our words as an assignment for either blessing or cursing and will not relent.
Make a decision for 2023 to be a source of fresh water in everyone’s life and not a source of salt water that kills living things. James put it this way. “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water” (Ja. 3:9-12).
One of the life-changing decisions we cam make for this year, is to eradicate “unwholesome talk” from our words. It is not easy. Much of what we say is so automatic that we are not even conscious of what we saying. It will take the Holy Spirit and some close friends and family to even make us aware of what we speak. It will also take a steady diet of the word of God to renew our minds and our old patterns of speech. But remember, what you speak creates realities. What you speak truly imparts life or death and our God is a God of life.
