This week we witnessed the widow of Charlie Kirk publicly forgive the man who assassinated  

her husband.  Forgiving one who has betrayed you, wounded you, taken life from you, stolen from you, slandered you, etc.  is one of the most defining aspects of our faith and, sometimes, one of the most difficult to live out.

However, for us, forgiveness is an imperative.  It is not optional.  Jesus clearly stated in several places that if we do not forgive those who sin against us, God will not forgive our sins against Him.  I am uncertain if you can cross the threshold of heaven if there are any sins on your ledger not blotted out by the blood of Christ, but I think not and the question highlights what a serious issue unforgiveness is.  I am certain that unforgiven sins give Satan access to believers because unforgiven sins give him a legal right to afflict us. As we have ministered deliverance through the years, we have often seen demons refuse to leave until the person to whom we were ministering had forgiven someone who had dealt them a great deal of pain.

So, in light of Ericka Kirk’s decision to forgive, I want to remind us of the necessity of us doing the same as needed.  One thing was clear when Ericka forgave her husband’s killer…it was a decision of the will not a decision of the heart.  That is always the first step.  In the same way that we don’t have to always like someone to love them, wd don’t have to feel warm and accepting of another person in order to forgive them.

Let’s explore that thought briefly.  First of all, we are commanded to forgive those who have wronged us.  We cannot command our emotions but we can command our will.  First of all, forgiveness is a decision to let Jesus be the judge of the other person.  We let him decide if they should be punished and how.  Biblical forgiveness, initially, is a decision to release the judgment to God and to no longer act in ways to make the other person pay for what they did. Jesus often framed the act of forgiveness as a willingness to release another person from a financial debt they owed.  The debt was real and sometimes extensive, but in his parables, they simply no longer required payment for the hurt that was done. 

In the human context, we usually try to make the one who wronged us pay through our angry outbursts, by withholding loving behaviors, by our constant reminders to them of their past failure, by our subtle slander of them as we try to undermine their relationships with other people, our silence and a cold shoulder, or simply by ending the relationship. In our own way, we decide to settle the score by making them pay for what they did.

Satan helps us justify our anger and our revenge.  We don’t forgive because they “don’t deserve it.”  We don’t forgive because they haven’t adequately repented and begged for our forgiveness. We don’t forgive because our anger makes us feel powerful and righteous or we believe it keeps us from being hurt again. But Jesus forgave when no one asked and forgave before he had seen repentance.

Forgiveness requires faith.  We must believe that God and wisdom will protect us from further hurt, that God will see justice done if that is needed, and that he will heal the hurts we believe only revenge can heal.  The first step then is to declare that our betrayer is forgiven and to choose to no longer act in any way designed to make them pay.

The second step is also an act of the will.  In Luke 6, Jesus tells us to love our enemies which consists of doing good to those who hate you, blessing those who curse you, and praying for those who mistreat you (Luke 6:27-28). You do it, even when your flesh pushes back.  The blessing comes to you because the act of forgiveness and the act of loving your enemies brings 
God’s blessing as you take the high road, even though your enemy takes the low road.  It keeps anger, bitterness and a victim mentality from taking root in your heart. It keeps the door of your life closed to the devil and anger and bitterness from sloshing over into the other relationships in your life.  The very act of praying for them eventually shifts your view and your emotions. You may have to ask God to soften your heart or give you strength to pray for things your flesh rebels against.  But keep it up.  Be obedient.  Your heart will change so you no longer want revenge but truly want the best for someone who once hurt you.  Then you will be truly free of that person.

Your forgiveness keeps those who wounded you from continuing to have power in your life.  To keep the anger fueled, you have to replay the wrong they did to you over and over…each time tearing the scab off the wound so it never heals.  You end up making decisions on the basis of how they will impact your enemy rather than on the basis of what is best for you.  You indirectly continue to give them power in your life. 

When God calls us to forgive, it is our response to the immense grace God gave us through the sacrifice of his own son.  We forgive, not because the perpetrator deserves it, but because Jesus deserves it.  It is also a call to bring us freedom, healing, and wholeness is our lives.  Jesus never asks us to do anything that does not bring a blessing through our obedience. 

Let me say, forgiveness does not require letting hurtful people continue to hurt us or to keep putting ourselves or our children in harm’ s way. We can love from a distance and forgive from a distance if needed and we can set healthy boundaries.  Forgiveness is required but reconciliation is conditional. 

So, at this time, in the wake of Charlie Kirk’s death we can hate or love, seek vengeance or forgive, slander all those across the aisle from us politically or we can live out a witness to the reality of Jesus and the grace he has brought to our lives.  

Let me encourage each of us to forgive every hurt and be blessed.

We usually take great pleasure when our enemy falls or fails.  After all, they would delight in our demise as well.   We may take their defeat as personal vindication or as a triumph of justice.  The following scripture adds a different dimension to our reaction that we should consider:

Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice, or the Lord will see and disapprove and turn his wrath away from him. Proverbs 24:17-18

We know that David was deemed to be “a man after God’s own heart,” so his life should be instructive to us.  King Saul falsely accused David of wanting his thrown and made numerous attempts to kill him.  Finally, when Israel engaged in battle against the Philistines, Saul and his three sons are killed. Saul had relentlessly hunted David and his men for several years.  David had been forced to live in the desert wilderness during that time with the threat of death hanging over his head daily.  

When the report of Saul’s death reached David, it seems it would have been cause for celebration, but his response was somewhat unexpected.  The text says, “Then David and all the men with him took hold of their clothes and tore them. They mourned and wept and fasted till evening for Saul and his son Jonathan…” (2 Sam. 1:11-12). Saul would have gladly killed all of them if he had been given the opportunity.  He had branded them as outlaws and many had been separated from their families for months or years because of Saul’s jealousies. And yet, instead of celebrating they mourned.

This response reveals the heart of God toward those who oppose him.  Sometimes we view God as an angry God who takes delight in destroying the wicked. However, God laments, “Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? declares the Sovereign Lord. Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live” (Ezek. 18:23).

This does not suggest we cannot celebrate a victory, but our heart towards our defeated enemies must be one of compassion rather than vengeance.  We should, at least, regret the loss of what could have been if a nation or person had taken a different path.  We might regret the fact that a wicked man will never have an opportunity to repent and be saved if his life is taken. The key is to value all men and women who have been made in the image of God and to mourn or regret what could have been if other decisions had been made.  Remember, Jesus still calls us to “love our enemies.”

As we enter the last few months of this heated election season, it might be good to remember that those who hold very different views than we hold are still made in the image of God and are still loved by him.  Some may even be destroyed politically in this season and we, as God’s people, should not gloat or rejoice at their demise.  Instead, we might that God might use their humiliation to bring them to a place of repentance and salvation if needed. 

We see wickedness in this world and want it to be defeated.  That is a godly desire.  But how we view those we see as enemies is a place where we all need to guard our hearts.  I am sure that you, like me, would love for God to say that we are a man or woman after God’s own heart.