And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching (Heb. 10:23-25).
When I was a kid, we had numerous “family reunions.” I grew up in Amarillo, Texas and had one set of grandparents there and the other set in Arlington, Texas when Six Flags was still red-dirt farm land. These get-togethers were usually on a holiday or in the summer when all the cousins were out of school. Some of the people that came I knew and enjoyed. Others, I barely knew. Some I didn’t enjoy. Some were “well off” while others were barely scratching a living. Some were a little odd and their lives were a mess. Everyone knew it, but no one brought it up. Sometimes there was tension between brothers and sisters or in-laws, but all that was laid aside at the reunion for the sake of “family.” Even with all the crazy dynamics, getting together was important and gave us a sense of belonging and history.
Sometimes, there were family members who chose not to attend. Everyone who did attend felt a little rejected by those who did not. Others were concerned and assumed something was amiss in their life or they would have been there. They were called and invited, and nearly always said they would “try to make it,” but they always found an excuse not to be there. Eventually the family that did gather together quit calling because it was clear those who didn’t come did not value the family. Some worked out their differences and reassumed their position with the family once again. Being there not only connected them to brothers and sisters and cousins, etc., but also honored the patriarch and matriarch of the family…the grandparents. Others were not willing to work things out and simply became a distant memory for many family members. Looking back, my biological family was a lot like spiritual family.
It was amazing how many believers began “attending” church via television during the Covid shutdown. That was understandable and in some locations was mandated. What is more amazing is how many continued to be part of the electronic church rather than returning to their local churches on Sunday. Somewhere along the line, American Christians started believing that God doesn’t care if you attend a local church or not as long as you believe in Jesus. Of course, there is some truth to the notion. You can be saved without attending an organized church and church attendance does not save us. Both of those are true. But it would be better to ask, “What would God want me to do?” Being Lone Rangers, separated from other believers while I profess my love for God, was never his idea. In fact, John says that if you don’t love the brethren, you don’t love God (1 Jn. 4:20).
The truth is, churches put a demand on you. They ask you to show up regularly, give financially, serve others, and connect with other people for whom you will be asked to pray, study the Word, care for one another in crisis, share your faith with the lost, love the unlovable, and do life together. Sometimes we stay away to avoid the demands.
Like biological families, a spiritual family is sometimes irritating and inconvenient. But Jesus, being told his mother and siblings were outside waiting for him, said his true mother, brothers, and sisters were those who did the will of God (Mt. 12:48-50). You may feel that your biological family is the most important thing in your life, but Jesus declared that spiritual family should be given precedence over biological. Hopefully, your biological family is also part of your spiritual family. I’m not saying you should abandon your biological family when you become a follower of Jesus, but I am pointing out the importance Jesus places on God’s household.
Staying away from your local church isolates you. Satan loves for believers to become isolated. They are like soldiers separated from their platoon and trapped behind enemy lines. A few make it out, but most are caught and many are killed. We are at war with Satan. If you have God’s mark on you (the seal of the Holy Spirit), he considers you his mortal enemy. His desire is to kill you. When you are at war, you are safest when you are with other soldiers…the more the better.
You may say, “I don’t go to church, but I still have Christian friends I meet with and I am part of a small group or house church.” Being with friends is great. Being with Christian friends is even better. But let me tell you what I have noticed through the years when people leave the local church for a small group meeting in a house or just stay home watching a church service on television. They stop growing,
The group makes few demands. The electronic church males none. You really don’t have to serve anyone (unless they meet at your house). The group or the stay-at-home believer is unsubmitted to any spiritual authority. A small group separated from a local church bears little fruit. They don’t have the resources or the vision. Sometimes, they meet, talk, and criticize the churches they used to be part of and feel spiritually superior. But, very few have changed the world from their living room. There is a clear synergy of the Holy Spirit’s power and fruitfulness when many believers meet, exercise their spiritual gifts, and expand the kingdom together. When only a few gather together, that synergy does not exist.
Paul spends a great deal of time talking about the body of Christ and how each believer is crucial to the whole as they use their gifts to minister to one another (1 Cor. 12). Your body needs every part in order to function well. If a few parts decide they want to stop functioning with the other parts, the body as a whole begins to suffer. God has designed us to need one another and to meet one another’s needs. That is the essence of love…caring for each other and meeting one another’s needs. Jesus said the world would know we are his disciples, when we love one another. When we break off and connect with only a few other followers, our capacity to love others is limited
The New Testament is full of “one another” passages. Love one another, encourage one another, pray for one another, protect one another, admonish one another, teach one another, accept one another, forgive one another, etc. In summary, I believe these “one another’s” are the working definition of love. When we stay home on Sundays or just fellowship four of five other believers, we rob our spiritual family of the love we could be giving them each week. God usually loves his people through other believers. As he prompts us to minister to their needs, he loves them through us. When we isolate, we rob God of his opportunities to love his children though us. We rob him of the opportunity to love us through them. It is not unusual to meet believers who picked up offense against their church, because when sick or some other crisis arose, no one called or checked on them. When visiting further, however, you discover they were uninvolved, rarely attended, and told no one about their crisis. If we want to be loved, we must also be present and loving.
In the New Testament,It is hard to imagine any believers who isolated themselves and never met with the larger group within their city. In Acts 2:42, Luke describes the church in Jerusalem this way: “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved” (Acts 2:42-47).
They were devoted to the fellowship they had with other believers. They met together or assembled together weekly as well as meeting in homes. Small groups should be part of any local church, but not instead of the local church. The synergism of the Holy Spirit in each believer produced signs and miracles, provision for every needy person, and awe in the community as they saw what the church was doing. As a result, large numbers came to faith. That can’t happen if we stay home. That can’t happen with a small group isolated from a larger church
Sundays, or whenever a church comes together, is a weekly family reunion. There are people you know well and don’t know well. Some you connect with while others seem hard to get close to. Some are odd and their lives are a mess. Some have tension between them that they set aside for the reunion. Coming together honors the patriarch…in this case, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. When it comes to impacting the world, an army of five cannot do what an army of five hundred or five thousand can do
Local churches aren’t perfect. They are made up of imperfect people just like your family. Some are sweet, some are sour, some are servants, some are snobs, some are shy, others are social. Some are healed, some are hurting. Some are mature, some are still spiritual infants. What a hodgepodge. Of course, it’s family. It is God’s family and the very people Jesus died for. He loves them. He wants you to love them too.
Let me encourage you. If you have stayed away, go back. If your last church wasn’t your cup tea, find another. If you were part of an unhealthy church and experienced church hurt, find a healthy church. If you were offended, forgive. Work it out or just get over it for Jesus’ sake. Don’t rob your spiritual family and yourself of what you bring to the table and don’t limit God from loving others through you or loving you through them because you didn’t show up. Sooner or later, times will get hard. You need your spiritual family. Blessings in Him.
