Stop Complaining … For Your Own Good!

As a parent, you may have barked, “Stop Complaining” to your children when life wasn’t suiting them.  They were bored, they didn’t like the food you served them, they weren’t getting to do what their friends were doing, or their life wasn’t measuring up to what they “saw” cool kids doing on social media.  Maybe you also have said that to a spouse or a fellow worker.  Maybe someone has said it to you.

Scripture has a lot to say about grumbling or complaining.  Grumbling is simply complaining under your breath, muttering, or mumbling your complaint.  God is not pleased with either.

Paul commanded us, “Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life” (Phil. 2:14-16). Later, in his same letter, Paul wrote, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation” (Phil. 4:12).

He says in another place, “We should not test the Lord, as some of them did—and were killed by snakes. And do not grumble, as some of them did—and were killed by the destroying angel” (1 Cor. 10:9-10).

The Old Testament is full of condemnation toward Israel for all their grumbling and complaining after God brought them out of Egypt…especially in the book of Exodus.  The issue was that, in their complaining, there was an imbedded accusation against God.  How often did they accuse God of bringing them into the wilderness just to let them die?  How often did they accuse God of shorting them in their provisions?  How often dd they accuse God of victimizing them by into a hostile wilderness after bringing them out of Egypt where they once had plenty to eat? Moses wrote, “The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, ‘If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost—also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna’’ (Num. 11:4-6)!

It’s amazing how quickly they forgot how they had been crying out to God to release them from the torment of their slavery. “The Lord said, “I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering” (Ex. 3:7).  If life was as good as they remembered it, why where they crying out for deliverance?

Their complaints in the wilderness questioned the motives of God, the goodness of God, or his power to protect and provide. That is why God was angry.  He had demonstrated his good will and power over and over through plagues and a Red Seas crossing.  Manna is described in Psalms 78:25 as “the food of angels.”  Through manna, God provided for them each day, without fail, for forty years.  Apparently, it had every nutrient they needed for health.  It required no refrigeration and there was always enough.  Although God had delivered them from slavery with unprecedented miracles, had led them through the Red Sea, and had provided nourishment and water in the wilderness and although he promised to lead them to a land of “milk and honey,” they complained, grumbled, and accused God of not caring about them.

Yes, it is human to complain, but complaint is a trap from the enemy.  God calls us to thanksgiving and gratitude. It is not just about God, but about our own well-being,

I want to quote from an article I read based on several recent clinical studies about negative thinking and complaining.  The article entitled, “Stop Complaining,” says:

Here’s the catch: What feels harmless—or normal—can quietly take a toll. Every time we dwell on what’s wrong, every time we complain, we’re not just venting—we’re training our brains to focus on the negative. A small complaint can slowly hardwire a habit that shapes how we think, feel, perceive, and respond to the situations we encounter.

Habitual complaining subtly changes the way we perceive the world. Tension builds, irritability rises, moods dip, and even minor problems can start to feel overwhelming. People caught in this cycle often experience anger, anxiety, and a persistent focus on what’s wrong. Psychologists refer to this pattern as rumination—repeatedly dwelling on negative experiences.

Rumination and habitual complaining reinforce each other, locking attention on problems and amplifying negativity. More than a fleeting feeling, research has found that repeatedly focusing on negative experiences strengthens neural pathways, making it harder to regulate emotions and respond constructively.

Research shows that a repetitive focus on problems can alter the way the brain processes information. Functional MRI studies demonstrate that rumination is consistently associated with increased activity in brain networks involved in self-focused thinking, negative affect—defined as persistent unpleasant emotional states such as sadness, anxiety, or irritability…Rumination, then, is not merely “overthinking”—it biases attention, drawing focus toward negative information while pulling attention away from positive experiences.

Emerging evidence also suggests that the consequences of persistent negative thinking may extend into long-term brain health. Studies indicate that repetitive negative thinking is associated with increased amyloid and tau protein deposition, pointing to a potentially modifiable risk factor for Alzheimer’s disease. Related analyses show that higher levels of chronic negative thinking are linked to more rapid declines in global cognition and memory, and may even impair impulse control.

So, here is the thing.  We choose what we habitually think about.  Paul commands us to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Cor. 10:5).  Of course, we have random thoughts pop into our minds.  Some of those are ours, some come from the Spirit, and others are introduced by demons.  We choose which thoughts to agree with and which ones we nurture and begin to speak.  Our daily decisions about what we agree with shapes our minds, our attitudes, our perceptions, our health, and even our destiny. 

Israel’s constant decision to agree with Satan in the wilderness cost an entire generation the promises of God he had established for them.  Satan is the accuser of the brethren and the accuser of God to the brethren.  The notion that God has abandoned me, is unfair, does not keep his promises, or that all my blessings come though my efforts rather than the grace of God are clearly demonic. Satan wants to convince us of those things because agreement will draw us away from God.  As he did with Adam and Eve, he wants us to slowly develop a picture of God as a  god who punishes instead of blessing; who can’t be depended on; who only keeps his promises some of the time; who actually enjoys sending harm and suffering our way rather than good things. Constant complaining makes us see ourselves as victims either because God has victimized us or because he refuses to deliver us from those who would victimize.  That agreement is unbelief and gives Satan authority to establish strongholds in our lives. 

Certainly, we go through difficulties in life.  We often don’t have everything we want.  Sometimes we face tragedy.  Sometimes people betray us. God has promised nothing less in a fallen world.  But he has also promised to never leave us or forsake us.  The Spirit instructs us to choose thanksgiving instead of complaint – to focus on what we do have rather than what we don’t have and to focus on what God has done rather what we think he should have done.  He calls on us to see ourselves as more than conquerors rather than victims in this life.

Thanksgiving, gratitude, and faith that God will see us through seasons of hardship or lack is the key to spiritual, relational, and physical health.  Complaining can become a habit.  It often become so habitual we are not even aware of our complaints. We often fail to realize that our complaints are an indictment of God that he does not truly care about us or care for us.

If we are constant complainers or even sporadic complainers, repentance is called for as well as a decision to become grateful instead of grumbling.  The key to Paul’s contentment in every situation was faith that God was giving him enough to sustain him and even the hardship would turn out for his good. If you have been a grumbler, it will take prayer, promptings by the Spirit, and intentionality to retrain your brain (renew your mind) towards thanksgiving.  You will also need to ask the people around you to kindly make you aware when you fall into the old ways of complaint. 

Our decision to complain will most likely cost us blessings God ordained for us, just as it cost Israel. This is actually serious, so I hope you will give it your serious consideration and remember the blessings of gratitude which is evidenced and sparked by thanksgiving. It opens the door to happiness, health, and blessing.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Phil.4:6-7).

If you haven’t noticed, the world is becoming a very dangerous place once again.  Terrorism, assassinations, antisemitism, violence, rage, and hate speech are rampant and highlighted on the news 24/7.  In a season that is supposed to promote peace on earth,  that is not what most of us are feeling.  And yet, Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (Jn. 14:27).

If we want to live with a sense of peace while the world explodes around us, there are some decisions we need to make.  This peace does not come automatically, but comes through obedience to the wisdom of Jesus. 

First of all, Jesus directed us to eliminate fear and worry by focusing on the Kingdom of God rather than the kingdom of men.  “So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Mt. 7:31-34).

An old story tells of a man leaving an ancient city and as he walks out, he encounters

Death.  He asked Death what he was up to and Death replied, “I’m going to this city to collect lives and take them to the afterlife. The man said, “What a terrible thing!” Death shrugged and replied, “It’s what I do.”  Days later, the man was returning and encountered Death again as Death was leaving the city. The man had already heard reports of hundreds and hundreds of people who had died since he left.  He scolded Death for all the destruction he had visited on the city and the grief and loss he had produced.  Death replied, “Oh, I only came for a few, Fear and Worry got the rest.”

Fear and worry are our enemies.  They rob us of peace, health, sleep, joy and fruitfulness.  They damage our relationships. Every doctor or research scientist will tell you that stress is our number one enemy. It impacts our physical health, our spiritual health, and our emotional health. Stress comes from worry and fear.  And yet the most repeated command is scripture is, “Do not be afraid!”  That Is a mindset we discipline ourselves to maintain.

Here are a few verses that can help us lay aside our worry and fear. 

Matthew 7:31-34 (quoted above).  Choose to focus daily on the kingdom, the power, the faithfulness of God, and his promises for provision and protection. Do not look at what you don’t have but what you do have.  Don’t fixate on the prayer yet to be answered,  but on all the prayers to which God has already said yes.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Phil. 4:8).  Make a choice to think about good things, pure things, praiseworthy things, etc. rather than thinking about the unholy, criminal, violent, perverse things of the world. 

This means choosing what you watch on television, listen to on talk radio, and review on social media. This means monitoring your conversations with friends and family. There is a spirit of fear attached to so much of what we hear about on television twenty-four hours a day.  That spirit will attach itself to you if you come into agreement with it. It will get into your heart and head and rob you of the blessings that could be yours in Christ. Most of what we see and hear about does not touch us and we cannot affect it except by prayer. I’m not saying we should be totally oblivious to what is going on in the world, but we should not dwell on it.  Watch the news briefly, ask the Lord how he wants you to pray about what is going on, pray about it, and release it for the day.  Turn your focus to positive things, heavenly things and over time your stress will abate, your health will improve, and you will find joy in life again.

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (1 Cor. 10:5-6). Monitoring your thought life and making sure your thoughts are aligned with the teachings and commands of Jesus is the essence of spiritual warfare. When you find yourself entertaining thoughts that are contrary to the Word of God, renounce those thoughts, repent of having come into agreement with them, and command any unclean spirit producing those thoughts to leave you immediately…especially worry and fear.

“Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things” (Col.3:2-3).  We spend way too much time thinking about the world and events in the world.  Our home is in heaven and we need to discipline ourselves to think often about home: the glory, the joy, the abundant life, the promise of eternal life without disease or loss, our reunion with loved ones, the presence of a perfect Father and a perfect Savior.  Paul focused often on heaven and finally said, “But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christand be found in him” (Phil. 3:7-9).

During this season of Peace on Earth, let me assure you that the peace Jesus spoke of is peace in your heart, not in the world around you.  The same peace that Jesus had while sleeping on a sinking boat on Galilee is available to us.  It comes from fixing our thoughts on things that produce faith and peace and limiting our time with the things that steal our peace.  If married, agree with your spouse to break the old habits of bad news and more bad news.  If you are single, agree with a friend. Turn the channel or turn it off. Focus on the good news of Jesus Christ and not the bad news on Fox. Find value in silent nights where we can hear the Lord rather than nights filled with the discouraging noise of the world around us. In just a week, you will feel the difference.  Blessings in Him.